Small but now big

[Takingtime]

I have been with my partner for over 10 years. It is difficult to explain how life effecting it is when your partner repeatedly can not remember/ denies/ says you are making up things/changes his mind when referring to important conversations. This has meant that he dominate any life plans we make together because nothing we bring to the table in partnership is able to be considered relatively solid. I feel like an idiot for taking 10 yrs to wake up to how crippling this has been to my life. It means everything runs to a dead end ... I could see him always making changes for himself but just realising being in partnership with someone who isn’t understanding partnership and the importance of communication holding meaning - means I barely exist and have been always thinking we would be able to eventually make plans that considered us both.

I don’t know what to do.

[Jacko777]

Hi taking time, welcome to the forums.

You will work out what to do, stay on track. And you have already started, you are becoming more aware of the situation, well done. Where does he stand on some relationship counselling? It could be really helpful at this stage to get these issues out in the open in a controlled environment with a counsellor, maybe it will help if he hears this stuff from someone else. The one thing that got me off my arse and to a counsellor was, my wife. She was concerned about our relationship, she didn't attack me and wasn't angry which isn't easy I'm sure.

If you can't get him there, go yourself and get some support and advice, maybe there are other ways to respond to the challenge, have a look under the 'Get Support' tab on the main page if you need help to find someone. I know our relationships are a huge part of our lives, but they are not our whole life, don't forget the positive parts of your self, spend some time there.

Talk any time.

Jack