Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Sex issues in your 40s

Community Member

Hi everyone,

my wife and I have been together for 14 years now . We are both in our 40s. Lately I have been having issues in bed - it’s been soo upsetting for both of us.
We start getting on in bed really hot having a lot of fun then when we get to intercourse, I can not maintain or finish . It’s never happened to me before- now it’s happened twice in a row.
I just do not get it!
it’s upsetting for both of us .

my wife feels upset saying various things from not being sexy enough etc. I’m totally gutted - I really don’t understand what is wrong with me.
I do not take medication and I’m very healthy. I don’t drink much

any advice anyone? Any couples going through the same issues?

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Tony

This problem is actually easily fixed nowadays.

Go to your GP and he'll prescribe medication.

All the best


So she still turns you on then ? Not a nice question but the first one.

Too much pressure too man. You've been partners in life all these yrs , in every tiny minute detail of everything about eech other , or you should be , l would think you'd be a bit more relaxed with each other than that. She's probably and a million problems over the yrs that's stopped the works. My ex was always having problems , same my gf now. lt shouldn't be the big deal your feeling.

Anyway yeah as T says you could see the gp although it could be physiological not physical and no wonder with that kind of pressure but eh , l might be wrong. And there's also natural alternatives.

Anyway , first things first, relax.




Community Member

In my experience, the problem is usually the other way around. There are plenty of anecdotal threads on this forum that would support my experience.

That being said, you are in your 40's, working full time and possibly raising a family. In short, life is getting in the way and you are not superman.

Relax and take the pressure off yourself. These things happen, we are all aging.


Just Ken
Community Member

You say you are healthy, but this sounds like an issue related to depression. I'm bipolar and Ihave sexual problems during my depressed phases. As these are mainly not psychological there is not much that can be done, and anti-depressants only help a certain amount. Sex starts, everything feels good and then I just get tireder and eventually there is no desire at all.

Talk to your doctor, and your partner especially about anything that is stressful that is going on in your life. If it is mild depression then the best option is to sort out the causes, usually stress. Drug treatments often cause sexual problems.