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Seperated from partner with PTSD
So it’s all on his terms? Do you find him controlling? I am glad that you are going out. It shows that your life doesn’t revolve around him. I’d continue doing that.
i don’t think much will change if he isn’t willing to talk about the past or get help with his PTSD. Getting help with his PTSD is number 1. As someone that had a partner that has PTSD/depression/anxiety, it’s really hard for the partner as it’s so unpredictable. After he asked me if he could take a step back from our relationship, I had to try and get off his roller coaster. It was hard to do but I am now giving him space and I am getting it too. This was the advice from my psych too “you’ve got to get off his roller coaster and just become a bystander.”
are you seeing a psych? Maybe if he sees you going to one that might motivate him to go to his GP for a mental health plan.
Yes it's always seems to be on his terms. I have asked for us to talk about things so many times and he always has an excuse. But now that he has seen me going out and having fun he wants to talk but tried doing it over messenger. Which doesnt work. He isnt controlling but is very jealous and selfish.
I was seeing a counselor but she seemed only interested in helping us fix things. I am planning to find another one asap. He has been to a few doctors but he doesnt tell them the truth and only goes a few times before he feels like he is doing ok. He has stopped his medication months ago and says he feels fine without them. But he still has days where he is totally fine one minute and the next he is cranky as and I have no idea what caused it. Like you said very unpredictable. I dont want to end up hating him but I dont see myself getting back with him, especially when he doesnt seem to want to do anything to help the situation. I feel like we are on a merry-go-round getting nowhere and I just want to get off.
So since I went out he has been trying his hardest to win brownie points. Cooking us dinner and offering to cook dessert. We had our sons 18th last week at his place. I only had a few drinks because I think someone needs to be sober enough to deal with anyone who may get too drunk and be sick. He expected us too stay the night but did nothing to make sure everyone had somewhere comfortable to sleep. He was annoyed when I said that I was going home. Was almost crying and said he is sorry for everything. I'm sick of hearing how sorry he is without him doing anything about it. The next day he made the comment that I drank more with my work mates than I did at my sons 18th. I said someone had to be responsible and look after the ones spewing.
His idea of fixing things is completely different to mine. He has done nothing that I have asked of him and has done nothing that he said he would do for me if I moved out. I am financially struggling and he doesnt seem to care because so is he. He gets all down when I reject him getting close. How do I tell him we cant be together when nothing has changed without causing his depression to get worse. I have told him numerous times we need to talk but he never seems to make the time. I just want him to be happy with himself then maybe we can try again. But I cant take the risk of him hurting me again.
Any advice would be appreciated.