Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Seeing two guys

Community Member

I'm in a sticky situation. I dont know what to do

Long story short, I'm still in contact with my ex. He and I are only friends but we kissed/made out the other day.

At the same time, I'm also dating a new guy, who I obviously kiss too.

Its wrong

I started dating the new guy to forget about my ex.

It worked for a couple months, as I've grown feelings for the new guy and I dont want to lose him.

But now months later, I am back at missing my ex, and we both want to kiss each other.

I know I can only choose one but I dont want to lose either from my life.

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi again,

”It’s wrong”? Why?

The way I see your situation is you seem to be in limbo, indecisive, which isn’t uncommon and the way you can find out where your feelings lie is date/kiss both.

I think also your compatibility is really important so it’s a good time to evaluate how you get along with the new guy, outings, conversation etc

You are not tied to either so give the guilt the heave ho!


Community Member

Hi SweetAngel,

I agree with white knight - I don't think what you're doing is wrong. We can't really choose we have feelings with, and sometimes that is for more than one person.

Listen to your gut! You could also evaluate what didn't work with you and your ex when you were dating and you could try to speak to eachother about whether those things could change.

Enjoy the connections and don't rush anything!



Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Sweet Angel!

Don't be too hard on yourself - I think this is pretty normal. The end goal would be to decide who you want of these two men (it may be neither!) and as long as you have that end goal in mind I think it's fine to explore your feelings.
It can be hard to be confused and not committed but this can pass. Hopefully soon things will be clear as crystal for you and you'll realise this was a step to getting the right partner

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi SweetAngel,

These days, you don't necessarily have to choose one or the other. However, if there is more than kissing, it's a good idea to be safe, for your sake, as well as for your partners.

Dating is about figuring out what you want! I wouldn't feel badly about this, if I were you. Until you've made commitments, or agreed on exclusivity, you're a free agent.

Hugs, Dt.