Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Scared that relationship is crumbling.

Community Member

Here I am in bed alone and my fiancé has decided to sleep in the spare room. He has done this recently anyways citing that he has trouble sleeping and doesn’t want to disturb me. Recently I have been turning into bed before him and then I often wake up in the night realising that he has chosen to sleep in the spare room. The vibe between us just doesn’t feel “right” though he assures me that it is not because he doesn’t want to be in bed with me but rather doesn’t want to wake me when he comes into bed.

Earlier this year we actually seperated (his decision) for a short while before he changed his mind.
Prior to meeting my fiancé I was a single mum. My son is now 5 years old. The relationship between my sons dad and I ended poorly with me finding out that he was cheating on me and in the end he chose to be with the other person rather then me.
Between that relationship ending and meeting my now fiancé I picked myself up and was really settled and set myself up with just my son and I.
I feel like I am constantly anxious about where my current relationship is going. The thought of possible being a single mum and having to pick myself up and set myself up again frightens me.
I know we have differences and we have spoken about it quite openly but I don’t know if we are able to overcome them anymore or more correctly, if he is wanting or willing to. He has said that he feels like he can’t be himself around me because of how I react to what he says or some of his views. This just makes me blame myself and I feel like maybe it’s too late for me to fix this.

I am 40 soon and just feel so absolutely disillusioned with how my life has turned out.

I’m just struggling and my thoughts and feeling and anxiety are just so heightened and I’m just struggling.

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion
Hi, welcome

Logic tells me that if your partner doesn't sleep with you because he's" scared he'll wake you" but you've made it clear that doesn't bother you- it's alarm bells really.

Carving out your life how you want it to be is a right you should exercise. Short medium and long term strategies need to be put in place, a plan to end with a happier life for you and your child.

In relation to your fiance if things aren't right in your mind you have a few options like counseling. If he won't attend then go yourself. All cracks in your relationship must be sorted sooner than later.

Returning to being single isn't such a situation to be fearful of. It can be an adventure to soul searching. But to remain with this man in a semi toxic relationship because you are desperate to make it work and your age that you want ultimate happiness (regardless of the issues) is not the right reasons to continue it.

It will take some courage but your child also deserves a stable home life so action is needed.

Chat Any time. I'm here in the evenings and others might offer their views