Hello melba,
It's so difficult living in a family with lots of fighting. I come from divorced parents who always fought from when I was born and somehow never got divorced until I was 24, so I feel really sad to hear about your family situation at the moment, and feeling like people keep pushing me to pick a side.
I think it can be very hard to control how the family unit functions. Instead, I just tried to focus on my relationships with my family members, rather than their relationship with each other. I hoped that if I could have a healthy relationship with them, they could learn how to have healthy relationships with each other.
You do not need to tell us what the fighting is about, but I find that people usually fight due to some kind of communication error. People do not feel like they are being listened to or that their opinion is not valid. Do you think this is the case here between you and your wife?
Also, if this is not something you feel like you can resolve, perhaps asking for some external professional advice could help. counsellors are wonderful supports who can also help you navigate relationships. Many people go to counsellors, both individually and as a couple, to understand what they can do to help bring a relationship back to a good level.
In fact, I spoke to my psychologist about my relationships. It wasn't ever couple therapy because my partner didn't want to go, but it did help me both in terms of helping me feel a bit better, and giving me ideas on what to do.
James
