Runaway 14yr teenager.

[Joey28]

My 14yr daughter has been running away from for the last month, but now she is refusing to come home. Yes there is some conflict in the household. But hard to resolve is she keeps running away.

We are working with the school and resources that we have in place but my daughter is refusing to accept the help.

She still trying her hardest to be with boyfriend who by the sound of it trying to groom her and offer the world but they are both young.

I'm giving her the time she needs to allow her to see this through.

She is with a family friend at the this point but I do know in the long term this is not the best place for her.

I don't want to give up on my daughter I love her very much but I just don't know what else to do as this taking a toll on my own health.

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Joey28

Welcome to the forums. I am sorry for your situation and offer you my support and encouragement.

The 'toll on your health' you mention suggests to me that you would never give up on your daughter no matter what eventuates - you are indeed a loving parent, but it is vitally important for you (and your daughter) that you seek attention for your stress and related conditions.

I'm glad to hear that you are employing school services and not just going it alone. "...my daughter is refusing to accept the help" , however, may be a telltale flaw in overlaying your view without considering that of your daughter : Does your daughter believe she needs help?

I agree you are right in your concerns and see you have considered the ramifications with the head of a mature adult but that probably amounts to little in the mind of your daughter at this point in time.

I wonder if you have considered supporting the boyfriend? There can be several advantages:

1. You will learn more about him and, perhaps even see things in a more positive light (?)
2. You can interact more and ensure better supervision (without getting too involved) - invite them to dinner, outing, or activity, and then give them some space
3. You will be showing that you support your daughter's will for independence within reasonable limits
4. Seeing you getting along fine with the boyfriend will most likely be enough to turn your daughter off (!) or...
5. You may feel you underestimated your daughter's judgment of character and recognise her intelligence and (impending) maturity.

Most importantly, try to be there for your daughter without overbearance or cutting the reigns.

I hope this has been of some value. Good luck.