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Relationship Counselling ? Seeking advice and maybe sharing your experience?
I suggest you dont go to your psychologist...a marriage counselor is ideal and one you both havent seen before. Yes, it's a good idea and Relationships Australia is a good one.
Changing medication is a Dr/patient decision, we cant advise there sorry.
I suggest you both move your children back a little and begin to focus on your relationship. A picnic on a river bank, a night out, a movie, a cafe coffee, more time alone without your kids. This is the building of more foundation of your family, not ignoring your kids.
The old fashioned idea of dressing up in a new dress, haircut and holding hands is a start- things might fall into place then. Effort must come from you as he seems in no man land and his depression would contribute to that.
My wife and I go caravanning even for 2 nights, a bonfire, some sausages, salad, marshmellows and nature. Think about spicing up your lives. I dont know how old your children are but think about handing over some responsibility like turning the sausages while you both go for a 5 minute walk together- alone!
People can tend to blame others. This is where the counselor will help you both. A little sotry-
My ex GF for 10 years and I went to counseling. She was always outraged that I'd do my model airplane hobby till 1am to 2am before bed and never needed as much sleep as her. We went to counseling and she told the lady how outraged she gets about me doing my hobby. The lady asked her "So...do you have a passion"? The question stunned my GF. The answer was no. If she didnt have a passion then how could she relate to me having one? Indeed the lady asked- "If he cannot sleep, why is it an issue for you"? Such short questions that made all the difference.
I didnt leave unscathed and was also at fault in some areas. Counseling is good. I hope you pursue it. There is also a thread I wrote about arguments-
Beyondblue topic relationship strife- the peace pipe
Tony has given you helpful advice and personal experience.
I feel relationships Australia are very skilled in dealing with relationships.
Personally I would feel awkward going to a pysch who had seen my partner. Just my thoughts.
I found counselling with relationships Australia, having two effects. Either we would be arguing on the way home or we would feel very close to each other . We had a counsellor who helped us to communicate with each others. Counsellors are nor supposed to take sides or even give advice but try and help the couple work out their difficulties. A good counsellor makes you see things in a different way.
It is great your husband wants to go to counselling, I would think about making an appointment soon.
Let us know how you go, if you want to.
Something you and hubby might find interesting
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That is great news about her husband and his progress in understanding his past.
hanks for keeping in touch and I hope all goes with relationship Australia.
If you want to let us know how it goes as your posts have helped others on a similar journey.
Thank you both.
Tony- I passed this on and he did find it interesting and related to it.
Thankfully he is in a good mindset these days as he is supported by finally being in the care of a very good psychiatrist.
You have mentioned a very interesting point that being supported by a very good medical professional be it a psychiatrist, psychologist, or counsellor is important for one’s mental health.
I felt comfortable to open up 100%, and so did my husband. It was actually such a relief to hear his full take responsibility for the lack of intimacy he knew was 100% due to his issue which he wants to change. I don't think in the last 16 years of marriage I have ever heard my husband so open and actually allow himself to be vulnerable like this. I think he feels in a "safe space" and has let his guard down with not only his psychiatrist but also during this counselling session.
I don't think this is going to happen overnight. However, I feel that the time is right for us and I am very hopeful that our relationship will be where it used to be when we first met, just older 😉