Hey, my girlfriend of four years recently left me about 5 or 6 weeks ago, I'm really struggling as she wants to have no contact. She says it will make it easier for both of us but the feeling of someone you love and was a best friend to just cut you out and block your number is killing me. I'm sure it's easier for her with no contact but it's tearing me apart, you feel like your worthless to them and you meant nothing. I can't stop thinking about her and the relationship basically what could I have done better and the mistakes I made. The more I try and pull myself together the more it all falls apart. I can see with the prespetive now that maybe it's for the best and it was inevitable but that doesn't stop her consuming my thoughts and loving her with all my heart. I'm trying to think of her negatively because maybe it will be easier if I hate her as opposed to loving her but i wang to keep things civil and friendly, I'm also slightly concerned she may try and get half of my unit etc....even though it's mine. We lived together for two years so I just hope she has the respect to not do that to me. She knows the whole deposit etc was all mine so I'm hoping she will not do that to me, she is a nice person so I would be surprised if she did but it's always in the back of my mind. My understanding is there's only a one year window to try and make that claim and since she moved out sept last year I suppose sept this year is the cut off. She always said we were going to get married and have kids right up until we broke up actually, I can't see how she could change her mind so quickly. I was doing fly in fly out work so that put a huge strain on us obviously. I would have done anything for her, she wasn't willing to make the sacrifices I would have for her....so it's for the best. I should be with someone who will care enough to make sacrifices. Maybe any advice might help? Thanks for your time.
Hi JH, welcome to beyond blue forums
Put your mind at rest a little about your unit. It used to be that way whereby your partner took half etc..now it also depends on the past. Courts take into account deposits, inheritance etc. I'd not worry about that until it happens because its unlikely.
Breakups are tough. I realised with myslef that love can only be replaced with love. But thats me. I couldnt put GF's behind me until I met another. And the thrill of dating again was really exciting.
There is a chance your ex decided to cut off completely because she knew you were so much in love with her. But its her choice whether you like it or not. She owns her rights. There is naught you can do. Maybe you need to meet someone that will enjoy your loving and caring qualities and that she's appreciate them?
Embroil yourself in activities, hobbies, reading up here and dating. That will help you move on.
dear JH, thanks for joining the site.
There is nothing worse than a break-up in a relationship or marriage because one of the parties is always upset, and in this case it's you.
We can make us go through the trauma of realising what you might have done wrong, but it takes two to tango, and probably she didn't come to the party as much as you wanted her to, but that's a decision that has to be made between the both of you, it's called give and take, or I'll scratch your back if you do the same, well that's the perfect relationship but isn't easy to find in the long run.
If she moved out last September and she had decided to claim half your unit surely she would have tried by now, so you seem to be safe, and I presume that she has taken all her furniture etc out when she did.
You can't be all that old so there are plenty of fish out there, but when you find someone else and they want to move in then get them to sign a pre-nuptial, not that you could be getting married, it's just a precaution. Geoff.