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I have had a few bad break ups over the past two years and now I’ve been dating a new guy for 2 months.
I can never just relax, I’m always thinking he will break up with me, I over think his text messages, I overthink when I haven’t heard from him.
He also has a bit of anxiety and he has said a few times he just wants time to himself because his mind is all of the place. He tells me it’s nothing to do with me but then I ofcourse think it must be me and he will break up with me.
sometimes I just think I should break up with him to just get it done with.
anyone else can relationship anxiety?
any tips? Just wish I didn’t think like this all the time!
Have a great day!
Just read your post and have experienced this in my relationship. It sucks to feel that way but it's totally normal. It's part of being in a brand new relationship. I will be with my man 12 months this March. As funny as this sounds, I found relief in knowing that he had become a bit insecure. So we both were doing it to each other. He would always want space, a lot. Best thing I did was to actually enjoy my own time, focusing on my health and wellbeing, exercised, did hobbies, had a few wines in front of the Netflix etc. I won't lie, after a while, you come to enjoy alone time as it becomes less and less. P.S. After a few days with casual contact, you start to miss each other. Hahaha. Laugh at it and don't get anymore advise. Do your thing.
Update - Just sometimes want to know I’m not alone.
I’m still with this guy but now on weekends he seems to drink and smoke pot a lot.
I’m so anxious when he does because sometimes he says smart remarks that hurt when I’m just being caring. Or even sometimes he just snaps. I’m on edge. And as I’m typing this I wonder if he cares now.
You're definitely not alone, it's a common experience. I read your post when you first posted, but wasn't sure how to reply because I suffer the same thing, but don't have any advice. My last relationship was the first time I've suffered from relationship anxiety, but it was also really full on. I can relate to you saying "maybe i should break up with him and get it over with it" because it's like you're waiting for it anyway, and can't just relax and enjoy the relationship.
So you've now been together longer, and I guess you need to consider whether the issues are just relationship anxiety, or actual issues? Can you talk to your partner about it? I think regardless of anxiety, the ability to communicate open and honestly about what's going on is important.
Thank you Katy for your reply.
I could talk to him about it but I can tell he doesn’t think it’s an issue. I then think to can I even say anything about his smoking which bothers me the most because i think is it a norm now for people to smoke pot.
Mind just feels jumbled what to do
Well I guess, again, that communication is key. So if something's important to you, you should at least be able to have a conversation about it. To share the advice I got from my psychologist about communication, it's to remember to use "I" statements when communicating. So maybe "I feel uncomfortable with you smoking pot..."
Ultimately it's up to you though whether you decide to bring it up or not. Either way, take care x