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Raising Children in Blended Families

Community Member

A safe place for parents to discuss difficulties in a blended family. Nuclear families are very common these days. How do you make it work? What are the dynamics? What happens when they become teenagers? (especially when they play parents against each other). Blending a family is difficult enough, but when the ‘other’ parents don’t make it a positive experience they set it up to fail from the beginning! What do you do to stop this?
how much stress do you feel? Feel like you’ve tried everything and read every book possible? Feel exhausted from taking on someone else’s kids? Probably even more so if you care for them for more time than the Bio parent.
what about the youngest child? Are they still the youngest child? And how do they cope if they are no longer the youngest. Have an older child or two now? they both used to be the eldest and now they fight for prime position.

My family;

I separated from my children’s dad in 2015. In 2016 my new partner and I moved in together. He has two boys currently aged 11 and 14. I have two children, boy age 12 and girl 7.
my daughter was 2 when we moved in together so she wouldn’t have it any other way.
my children’s dad lives 1 hr away and sees them every second weekend and half of holidays. My step sons are with us 50/50. Their Mum lives 10 min away. As of 2 years ago, all of our children attend the same school, that has been great!
however at the start of this time when my step son started high school (prep-12) it became a difficult place to be and today I feel it could come to an end. I’m exhausted, I’m angry, and I’m not even sure it’s at my step son. Maybe my husband somewhat for not handling it better and definitely his bio mum because of the manipulation! I’m also heading down the barrel of court again ( for the 3rd time) with my ex. It just doesn’t end.

would love to hear of anyone is going through a difficult time with the eldest teenager in their blended family. What did you do and how?

This road is the toughest I have ever been down. I have no family support. My closest friend has just moved interstate to flee a DV situation (she was also in a blended family).

I feel there is no way out, no easy way to make it easier. I don’t want out. I just don’t want the conflict.

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion
Hi, welcome

Thanks for the topic. I'm 64yo. At 21yo became a step dad to a 2yo boy. I now know I was too young to take on that role. I was jealous.

At 33yo and 37yo became a father to two daughters. Marriage ended when the girls were 7 and 4yo. At 41yo met a lady. From the start I should have noticed the jealousy she had for my daughter's. Also I now realise that the number one requirement of a step parent to young kids was missing - nurturing. Some adults just haven't hot it. Once the kids feel that is missing they rebell.

With that lady I was also step dad to a 14yo boy (spoilt) and 18yo woman. After 12 months of took with the boy I broke ground by buying a car we'd restore for when he got a license. From then on it was sweet.

It lasted 10 years. Now I'm remarried. She has no kids. She was the favourite auntie by marriage once so all good with my daughter's.

The mother of my kids gave me he'll. So when the youngest turned 18yo I told her mother never to contact me EVER!.

I'm now happy. One day you will be also.