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Bloody_Confused
Community Member

Hello,

This year has been the worst year of my life. First a friend passed away in February; my mother passed away in March; my grandmother passed away in August and an Uncle passed away in November.

I'm a married woman (12 years) with 2 boys 8 and 10. Thought I was happy. In September I started chatting to an old school friend who's marriage has been in a terrible state for years. Long story short its escalated to a full affair. Chatting every day, meeting when we can. The dilemma I have is I'm not sure if it's because of the horrible year I've had that I'm just grabbing on to something that makes me feel by happy as I think of him constantly. He is consuming my whole day, every day. I'm so confused. Thank you for even just taking the time to read this.

2 Replies 2

Peppermintbach
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello,

I’m deeply sorry for your losses this year. To lose one loved one is devastating, let alone losing 4 loved ones...the feelings of grief and loss must be overwhelming and heartbreaking...

I feel it’s hard to pinpoint a specific reason for reconnecting with your old school friend. It could be, as you suggested, partly due to a desperate bid for happiness/ escapism from your grief. That being said, I feel it could also be for other reasons e.g. unmet emotional needs in your marriage, etc.

I don’t know for sure of course as I obviously don’t know you, but I’m happy to continue chatting with you if you find writing here helpful. Sometimes, people find it cathartic to let out some of their feelings here.

Emotionally unload and unpack a little here...so if you’re feeling up to it (no pressure or obligation though), there are many caring people here who can support you.

Kind thoughts to you,

Pepper

Peppermintbach
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello,

I think that I replied to you earlier (though maybe I accidentally cancelled my own post). I’ll check again later, but I just wanted to say in the mean time, you’re heard, I care and I’m feeling for your multiple losses. My deepest condolences...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper