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Hi my name is Jess and I'm having some problems in my life atm n need some advice n some guideness n help. Well I'm 25 with 4 kids. I have been with my partner for about nearly 10 yrs and he disapproves with my family n friends he is always having a go at me about them n what they have to say about him but when he hear what he is like u will understand why they speak up for me. Well he used to hurt me in past and it has left and big impact in my life I feel very insure about myself n what others think about me cause of why he says about me.He has abused my family, smashed my mums car window, sold my brothers motorbike, thrown my mothers stuff in a vinnies bin, and accused me of sleeping with anybody I come in contact with. I'm too scared to make friends cause he will scare them away. One day I had a friend over from Tafe it was a girl we were having a few drinks n he just rocked up to my house out of the blue n made us feel very uncomfortable and then next morning he accused my friend of having a problem with him n saying that she was giving him dirty looks all night but there yet we were outside cause we were uncomfortable. He also just rocks up to house with out asking or notifying me some days I would come home n he is sitting at my front door waiting n he is always msging and asking where I am who I am with what am I doin when il be home. He never lets me go out with friends when ever I ask him to watch kids so I can go have a break n have fun with friends one night a month he says I'm gonna sleep with other men and that he don't trust me. He has had a go at my brother for no reason and my best mate he looked like he was gonna hit them and threatens to smash them if they step out of line n acussed my brother of touching one of my children n threatens to hurt my sisters bf cause my partner has said a few things to my sister n she has told her bf and he has said to my partner not to speak to her like that n to stay out of there stuff when it's got nothing to do with him. I'm scared to leave my partner. And I don't know what to think of all the things he does pls give me advice or something that can help. Be honest
2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi Jess,

Really sounds like you have your hands full at the moment! I would reach out to your family for support, i'm sure your mum, brother & sister only want the best for you!

You deserve better than this, people that will build you up, support you & love you!

Your partner sounds like he is toxic & out of control! As much as you need sometime for yourself I personally would be concerned leaving your children in his care with the accusations he has made about your brother & the harm he has caused you in the past!

Can you speak with your friend from tafe?

In my honest opinion, even though you don't see or feel it now you would be far better of with your partner out of the picture!

You deserve more!

You are worth it!

Sending you Love & strength!

Community Member

Hey Jess and welcome

I think you already know that you're in an abusive relationship. And if it was that easy you'd already be out.

From what you're saying it doesn't sound like he lives with you?? Is he the father of your 4 children? What is he like as a father to them if so?

It sounds like you need outside help as well as family help. Counselling. And a robust "go" plan. It's impossible to reason with someone who threatens or commits violence. The only thing they will understand is the police arresting them and if necessary a restraining order made. Domestic violence is taken very seriously. But you need to call for help.