partner works away

[misskk]

Hi.

My partner is working away atm he works away all week and comes home either Friday night or some times works Saturday's so I then only see him for 1 night a week.

My issue is I over think things especially at night. They do go out for dinner while down there the first thing I think of is he is being unfaithful to me. I get myself so worked up and end up crying myself to sleep every night.. we speak every night and he does tell me he loves me and I'm the only one for him and he doesn't even speak to over females. I just can't believe him I do love him dearly but this is just tearing me apart.

Please help! 😢😢😢

[Starwolf]

Hi Misskk, welcome to the forums.

Overthinking can easily turn the mind into a battlefield, making life unbearable. It is also a common symptom of anxiety. If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you will find an Anxiety/Depression checklist in the "Facts" section. If you find it applies to you, there are things you can do to help you manage the situation.

Reaching out to talk about it is a courageous start. Well done !

Making a GP appointment would be a wise starting point. Perhaps you will need a referral to a counselor to help you get to the bottom of the matter before it drives you (and your partner !) up the wall. Anxiety is hard to cope with because deep down, we know our fears are groundless... but the mind keeps dragging us where we don't want to go, regardless. Reason is alien to anxiety. Infuriatingly so. But the wrong part of the brain takes over and takes us for a ride. Sometimes, over-dependency can also be the problem or contribute to it. In any case, the root cause of unrest needs to be assessed. You deserve peace of mind.

There are strategies that help us get out of our heads, like distraction, relaxed breathing and body scan, mindfulness etc...Researching those (Google may help) would be a good idea. But I think a proper diagnosis is called for ASAP. There is no need for you to struggle alone with this issue 6 days a week.

Navigating the Anxiety section of these forums will also be helpful. Understanding, support and practical tips are available. The Relationships section also has food for thought to offer.

Kindest regards.

[misskk]

Thank you for replying... I have seen the GP today.. he has refereed me to the councillor but I can't get into see her for a few weeks so I will look into the other things you suggested in the time being.. thank you again it means a lot xx

[Starwolf]

Thanks you for your kind acknowledgment and well done for taking the proactive approach.

Unfortunately, it often takes time to get appointments with counselors and therapists. It is a busy profession as you are far from alone in suffering mental/emotional unrest !

Meanwhile, you may find mindfulness easy to practice because it can be done any time, anywhere. It will of course work better for you if worked on when all is well and persistently. Then it will be easier to fall into when you need it most. The middle of a sports match or competition is not the best time to practice your moves, training the mind is an on-going process. Using cues like waiting at traffic lights, queues, doing mindless activities like washing up etc...does help.

At night, training the mind to watch itself is more difficult. That is being aware of mental activity without participating in it, watching thoughts come and go without dwelling on any of them...just as you would sit somewhere and watch traffic and passer-byes without trying to stop them for a chat. We refer to it as our mind but it is in fact the puppeteer behind the curtain, pulling the strings that make us jerk around...Not easy to train it as it has always done what it pleases but regaining some measure of control is well worth the effort.

Let us know how you go...