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Partner makes plans last minute for just about every holidays/long weekend
This might seem trivial and I've posted a similar thing around Christmas, but it really ramps up my anxiety. There have been several long weekends this year and aside from Australia Day, my partner has made plans (often the week of) to go with family and friends, camping essentially. Sometimes I go, have a good time, sometimes we go together for day trips - I'm happy to compromise, sometimes she goes the whole time and either go one night, the whole time, and/or do my own thing. She went all of Easter and I went out of those nights and hung out elsewhere catching up with my own friends the rest of the time, which she doesn't tag along to unless planned in advance. We had made an agreement that the long weekends were up for grabs but she suggested the May Day weekend for staying home, doing things around the house (that we need to do) and doing things together that we both like to do, just us.
We were going to join the family this weekend just gone but my gf was sick and decided not to go - we even thought of doing a day trip etc and I was happy to drive and support (we also didn't manage to have much fun at home due to sickness). But this weekend, I thought was just gonna be about us and planning that together but 'everyone' is going camping again so my partner wants to go for at least one night "since we missed out" this past weekend.
The thing that gets me upset is that we both know how much allocating an occasional long weekend to doing our own thing, particular if the longer weekend time allows us to plan different kinds of adventures. I just don't want to default all the time to what 'everyone' is doing, because they decided to do it that week ... Maybe I have no right to hold onto our May long weekend plans since we have other weekends together, but similarly, we could organise for everyone to go camping any weekend for the one night - the place they go is 2 hrs away for us, 3 hrs away for the rest.
Any thoughts/criticisms of my perspective welcome - just need to get out of my own head.
Thanks for your post; it's not trivial at all! It's giving you anxiety and so it's important and I'm glad you've shared this with us.
So it might/might not be a silly question, but is this something you've talked about with your partner?
I'm not really sure if I have any thoughts/criticisms of your perspective, but I think from experience communicating is everything so letting her know how you feel is important.