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Partner left me says doesn't love me anymore :(
Hello there i'm a 28 year old male i have had depression/anxiety for over 10 years, I have not worked for some time now, I was with my partner for 3 n half years until she recently had told me she doesn't love me anymore and she doesn't want me anymore while we were waiting in my psychiatrist's waiting room an while i was just about to get my life on track (was seeing a job seeker trying to get a job for our future) I'm left more depressed than i have ever been, My depression first started when my first love of 4 years left me, Some years later i met another girl of which we weren't "official" but when she left me for some one who was serious i was depressed and heart broken again because i was coming around to making it official then i met this girl (my now ex) she also was going through a breakup "separated" and then a divorce when i had first met her and so we fell in love and everything was good..
The thing is i have never loved a girl and showed it so much in my life she had a miss carriage some months ago after we were trying to have a child, But now she says she just wants to be be happy and doesn't want me in my life, She understands my condition and knows its not fair but she says she just cant be with me she was crying and stuff i'm guessing from guilt?, Now the thing is she thinks i'm a bum and that i'm never going to work and that i'm going to just bludge off her but this is not the case at all i have never asked or taken a cent off her i was genuinely going to get a job and do some online courses at the same time and was going to buy a engagement ring and get engaged to her this year on our 4 year anniversary (she didn't know this) also she has a big family and at the start (few years ago) i didn't want to meet them all and stuff because of anxiety and shyness but as our relationship dragged on she never asked me to again but i wanted to an i was ready.
She went overseas for 3 months during our relationship i waited and stayed loyal to her, In all honesty i'm not a bad guy and she says i'm not bad or did anything really wrong but its just she fell out of love, I'm a tall good looking guy (some say) i'm a great cook i know how to work on computers,cars,motorbikes etc and i'm very smart with general knowledge, Now she had lost love for me before around 2 years ago but after she said she will try she was good and our relationship was great.
reasons the other person has given you, even though you love her so much, but by having depression this can happen
so many times and it's so unfortunate that not even love can hold you both together.
I'm sure you're a very capable and handy person but because you have been depressed this was unable to be shown to her.
People fall out of love for many reasons and if you're unable to show her your skills, then she and probably her family
decided that it was time for her to move on, however you were unable to overcome your depression so her family thought
it would be better to find another person.
I don't think that her trip overseas has helped the relationship survive, because 3 months being by herself then a lot
could have happened which you may not know about, however I'm not saying that something did happen, but she was alone
and thought that she wants that now.
When someone gets depression many people don't understand what it can do to us, so they are oblivious to our needs and
conditions of what we may want or what we don't want, and for her to explain all of this to her family would just make
those who are critical want her to move on.
There is no easy solution when someone you love just gets up and leaves, because it leaves an enormous hole in our
heart, and can only be patched up when you meet someone else.
Your depression has been a long drawn out affair, and by this happening isn't going to make it an easier for you, so I'm
so sorry for you.
I hope that you can still post back to us, because we want to help you on your journey. Geoff.
Hello geoff thanks for the reply i appreciate it,
She lives very close to me (walking distance) i love her deeply and i cant stop crying when i'm alone in my room i cant stop looking at photo's of her i just want her back i want to spend the rest of my life with her and have kids and be with her family and pay off a house for us but i think she doesn't believe i want all that she thinks i'm the same how i was, She keeps saying we are on different pages and that she is a hard worker and i am not, but this is false!
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only from what I have read on the net, which you probably would have read about, but one symptom it says is that
there could be an 'overproduction of hormones'and how this affects the person are rather staggering and would cause her
to be alarmed at what it can do, so for me to only hypothesis, as I'm certainly not qualified to comment on this,
however by her having this could change how she feels, and what may happen, so I'm sure that she is worried about
this and perhaps doesn't want you to be with her.
I could also see that her family doesn't want to cope with this 'overproduction' as well as try and help you get
through your depression, as her family may want to take charge of this situation without any other complications. Geoff.