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Partner feels as though his children don't love him

MargaretK126
Community Member

Hi Everyone, 

 

New to the forum, 

 

My partner has two children from a previous marriage, 2 and 4. The four year old has ASD level 3 and is non verbal. There is no court Orders in place, however the current arrangement is: 

Week 1 - Tuesday afternoon until Wednesday morning 

Week 2 - Monday and the weekend. 

 

We are looking to increase time however she keeps saying no. 

 

His ex partner is quite manipulative and rude to him and was a perpetrator of family violence in their relationship. He feels as if he cannot say anything to her without the constant fear she is going to blow up. Yesterday on our usual weekend the children had a party to attend to which she took them. Following their return to our house a few hours later, the children were very unsettled and crying not wanting to let go of their mother. 

Initially, my partner understood as they often do the same thing to us when we drop them off. However late last night, my partner broke down as he feels as though his four year old doesn't love him. I re-assured him as best i could however i was wondering if anyone could help with any ideas or strategies. I can see this is really debilitating for him and i don't want to step on anyone's toes as they are his children.  

Looking for any type of help really not sure what to do or how to help my partner here. 

1 Reply 1

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Margaret, as his son has ASD level 3, then he might associate his time more closely with the person he is with, rather than the parent he has to go to, but after a while with his father, he forms a bond with him, then the same situation happens when it's time to stay with his mum.

If he can google 'understanding ASD' which he probably has already and understand how a person with this, is thinking, because their last connection has more benefit, rather than what's going to happen.

Geoff.

Life Member.