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Parental visitation during isolation

Community Member


I’m having a bit of an issue at the moment and I don’t know where else to seek validation of my decision.
I have 2 kids. One of who suffers with asthma. I have taken time off work and kept them home from school the last week and a half. Normally they would go to their dads for dinner 2 nights and week and stay overnight 1 night per fortnight. He lives very close by. Doesn’t have a particularly good relationship with them and mostly they don’t want to go.
My issue currently is that I’m a bit hesitant to let them go to his place at the moment as he has moved his girlfriend and her 3 school aged kids into his house. Her kids go between their grandparents and their dads a lot. Both my ex and his girlfriend are still working also. I know the rules state that the people you live with don’t count. But that’s 7 people in a 3 bedroom house. I feel it’s putting my kids at risk. I am not letting them play with friends or see anyone at the moment.
I have told my ex he is welcome to come here and see them whenever he wants.
Am I being unreasonable? I’m not trying to keep them from him, I’m just trying to keep them safe. We aren’t even seeing my parents at the moment who are in their 70s as it’s too risky. I’m uncomfortable sending them into that environment at the moment.
there are no court orders.

6 Replies 6

Community Member
I have cancelled all visits for my children and their Dad. He only turns up for half of them most of the time so it's not a big loss for them. He can video call them any time he wants. I think any responsible parent would put their children's safety as a priority. I think you offering for him to visit them is admirable. This virus is just too dangerous to mess around. Do what you feel is best for your babies...

Thanks for your response. He has made me out to be a controlling bitch and we have had constant arguements about it. All I want to do is keep them safe.


Ideally if possible come to a consensus with the children’s father. He is a parent also.

Not consulting the non custodial parent in such matters can make them feel less of a parent. The kids are his babies too.


Family courts have stated people with court orders should still follow the orders in line with the government's advice....which at the moment is they can still see there other parents.

Schools are still running after holidays, so I dont see why step siblings living under one roof would be any worse.

Maybe have a rethink of your position

Community Member
Hi Sarah,
It is ok for you to pour your feelings in here as you couldnt reach agreement with your ex. If you guys have talked about it and he didnt agree with it that means you have tried to discuss the matter with him. It is not you stopping him from seeing his children, he still could see them in your place and that should be ok. I think all you trying to do is just want to make sure that your children are keep safe at home with what's going on out there. It is such difficult time for everyone now, and all we can do is look after each other especially our loved ones.

Hi, welcome

With this serious virus we all should get the view of the police and health authorities.

We here are no different to your neighbours in that it can be confusing and misinterpreted.

I suggest if the police consider it non essential contact then you can consider Skype or mobile phone conversations until the crisis is over. Allowing your ex into your home does not mean your children are safe.

Contact your local police and be understanding to your ex that obviously is missing his children