I don’t know how I got here.
I bought 4 children up by myself. Their father had little to do with them. I battled on for decades. These children of mine are all grown up. One son abused me 10 years ago and I have had nothing to do with him. Another son sent me a text 3 years ago stating he knew all about me (from a conversation with a younger sister who I had told not to rely on me to support her anymore) and wanted nothing further to do with me. A younger daughter who I have just spent the last 5 years launching on to the world, is married and has 2 children, now , this year wants nothing further to do with me. And now spends a lot of time with her brothers. Another daughter, who just this week tells me to leave this married daughter alone.
So I sit here, ashamed, that my relationships with my children have deteriorated so badly.
I cant do anything about it. I find calling, texting or emailing, embarrassing. I know the dynamics of others around them had contributed to this estrangement.
Some family members and friends are aware of this alienation I have with my four children.
I think it’s beginning to affect my mental health. I wonder what was the point of me working so hard over the last 35 years in raising them.
One thing I have recognised was when they were little, and had returned from a weekend with their father they would take their anger out on me for several days. It is something I put up with for years. My children using me as a battering ramp to their disenchantment with the world.
And this continues in their adulthood. I’m now getting too old to cope. And my children could care less ....
