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I’m feeling so sad and overwhelmed and so alone. I’m a single mum and my job was made redundant recently. I finish in May so, I have some time left, but the jobs I had on the boil have all been cancelled due to CV-19. I’m currently working from home and managing my kids plus putting heaps of work into trying to find a job. I’m not spending any time with my kids and other mums are baking, playing etc.. I feel like a failure. I don’t have my parents anymore and my ex has not wanted to see the kids for two weeks. He’s scared of getting CV-19. They aren’t sick. Perfectly healthy. I’m so worried about not getting a job and am so sad and feel alone in all this. The weight of being fully responsible for absolutely every single thing is too much. None of my friends understand as many don’t work, have husbands, parents helping. I feel myself becoming jealous and that is a terrible way to be. I’m also feeling like I’ll never have a partner to love or who will love me again. Just so alone and miserable and can’t pull myself out of this place. I have seen a psych for a number of years, on and off, but can’t afford it right now. Also have been on anti depressants before. Maybe I need them again?? Sorry to go on about it all.
Thanks for reading xo.
Hi Blue Adriatic,
I felt so many painful emotions in your post. I felt your feelings of loneliness, worried & fears. You have so much to manage all on your own. That is an enormous responsibility...
I can’t even imagine how stressful it must be to be the breadwinner (& emotional support person) for your children, but know that employment ends in May. No wonder you’re worried...
I can feel your deep loneliness too. I think observing how your Mum friends seem to have a support network, & financial stability from someone else, it’s a little like rubbing salt on a wound.
Even if they’re nice people, & not intentionally trying to to upset you, I think it’s still a painful reminder of what you don’t have but wish that you did...
Also, even if you were to talk to them, they obviously wouldn’t be able to relate to your circumstances. I feel that would exacerbate your feelings of loneliness. I know it isn’t easy, & not having anyone else to share your troubles or help out financially is hard, especially in today’s economic climate.
I have so much respect for how you’re trying your best to raise your children in such difficult circumstances...that is a big achievement.
I’m thinking of you...there’s a thread that you might be interested in, which is called BB single parents’ group where you will find a safe place of understanding & support. If you’re interested, I think the easiest way to find it is simply typing the thread title, “BB single parents group”, in the beyondblue search bar.
Also, you’re most welcome to write here any time (no pressure of course). I’m thinking of you...
Kindness and care,
Thank you so much for your response. Made me cry. But in a good way. That’s exactly how I feel. I just want this feeling to go away so I can be myself again. My kids have a miserable and cranky mum at the moment.
I will join that forum. Thank you! Women with heaps of support keep telling me how bad this Corona situation is and I just end up angry when I hear that. It does seem that it must be hard for people to understand unless they are in it.
Thank you for taking the time to write to me and for your caring words.
Take best of care. Xo
Hi Blue Adriatic,
It’s lovely to hear from you again, but I feel saddened by how much you’re struggling. I’m glad my post resonated & you are most welcome. Thank you so much for your very kind words to me 🙂
I think, considering your heavy responsibilities & stress levels, it’s no wonder you’re feeling on edge & unhappy. I feel that’s completely understandable. I think that I would be feeling the same way if I was in your shoes...
Yes, the lack of understanding from your Mum friends must make you feel so unheard & isolated. The way that they talk about issues, such as COVID-19, clearly indicates that they don’t quite understand that not everyone has the same support networks as them. I think the most painful part is that they don’t seem to even realise that there’s such a big gap between their lives & yours.
Even if they are nice people with good intentions, I think they seem a little lacking in self awareness...
After all, not everyone has their level of support...& in times of crises like now, I think that difference can be magnified...
I hope you find the BB Single Parents Group helpful. I think it’s such a lovely idea. I believe it’s so important for single parents to have a space like that 🙂
Kindness & care to you,
Yes to everything you have said! Thank you so much. I’m going to call my GP tomorrow about anti depressants. Maybe I need them till I can get a job and get settled.
Many thanks xxxooo
Hi Blue Adriatic
You’re most welcome 🙂
All the best with calling your GP. I hope it goes well.
If at any point, you want to write here to vent, chat, etc, we are here for you. No pressure to write of course, but I’m just saying there’s a safe space for you if you ever need it.
kindness and care,