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Community Member

I recently posted about my situation, having just had my interstate partner move in with me. You all gave me varied but amazing perspectives and suggestions. In the three or so weeks since, I'm becoming overwhelmed and irritable. I feel like my mind has closed down the idea of letting it flourish and I fear I'll never develop feelings of love for him. I told my mum and she wants only the best for me but thought it's possibly something I need to wait out for a month or two longer because it's probably unfair to take any actions so soon after his relocation. I see the sense in that but it does draw out my grief.

I'm going through a tough time at work - there's a great deal of change and uncertainty going on and quite a number will be made redundant. My position is safe for now, but the morale is just rock bottom. Some people might struggle to find other work and I am also worried I'll lose some treasured colleagues. It's just not going to be the same again for a long time or ever. I've been there 13 years and we've been through some ups and downs like this before but never this widespread and so directly impacting my team. There are some people who I suspect may be at greatest risk of not retaining their jobs and they have mortgages - I just worry so much for them.

3 Replies 3

Community Champion
Community Champion


Is what is going on at work having an impact on your home life?

I have always worked for small businesses. In this time I have been through 4 restructures, each time for different reasons. The reasons here don't matter.

It is never nice to see people that you have worked with leaving.

This is regardless of their situation - whether they have a mortgage or not. Of course, a mortgage is a big thing.

And I can see in your writing you care very much about those you work with.

It is also tough for those on the other side of the desk as well, who have to decide who to keep and who to let go.

It is also natural to go to the worst case scenario about what might happen.

I guess what I am trying to say is that redundancies, restructuring etc. is stressful for everyone (yourself included) and the impact is felt by all.

If I can make 1 suggestion - allow yourself time to grieve if you need to. And hopefully there is some package for those made redundant. Practice mindfulness of other types of exercises to help to stay in present moment. But to know that whatever you are feeling is normal and if you to talk with someone - a friend or professional, please do.

Listening to you.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Guest_342,

Relationships aren't without their challenges and bickering, and through overcoming these challenges are how relationship bonds strengthens. The honey moon period only lasts temporarily, and team work to get through challenges together lasts forever. With that said, ultimately, look after yourself first. If you feel the pressure is too much for you that it's affecting you physically and mentally, you could let your partner know about it to see what the two of you could do about it, or call it quits. At the moment it might be rough to figure out a solution, and when things don't work out, the two of you may feel disappointed at each other, or even oneself. But once the two of you figure out the solution, you'll feel a sense of accomplishment, and a better bond with each other.

If I recall, the issue that you're having with your partner is about sharing the same bed, and what does it mean for the future if the two of you can't share beds with each other? Perhaps, if there's a spare bed room in your home. You could both agree that for the sake of each other's comfort, you can share the same bed with each other at the start of the night, and whoever gets uncomfortable can move to the spare bedroom for the rest of the night. Over time, you'll both start to get used to having each other side by side (kinda like, crawling before walking), while giving each other the space to take care of your own needs first (i.e having a good night sleep). Hopefully that helps give you some ideas on how you may take on this challenge with your partner.


Community Champion
Community Champion


I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing some pretty heavy emotions right now, I can imagine that it would be quite overwhelming. It sounds like you have a number of big changes that have all happened at once. I think it is definitely a big adjustment when first sharing space with somebody, especially because of the interstate move component. Do you think that it might be helpful to be vocal about how you are feeling with your partner in regards to your living arrangement? Have you shared what is going on at work and how that might be impacting you with him? Maybe having that insight might allow for finding a solution to best support each other during this time.

I'm sure living with the uncertainty at work would be quite tolling. Even if your role is not at jeopardy for the time being, it's completely valid to feel a sense of sadness and despair for those whose jobs might be at risk. I can imagine that after 13 years, you have grown quite close to people that you work with and know about their lives. It's okay to feel worried and sad for them, and even though you might not be able to control what is going on, you can try your best to support one another through it. I really do wish you well and hope you can find comfort soon enough. For now, it's okay to ride the wave of emotions.