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Overanalysing in a relationship
I've recently started to see someone (just under 2 months now) and it's been going great. It's just casual at the moment, but I tend to overanalyse every little thing, and worry that this will turn out just like my past relationships. Sometimes if I don't hear from him for a couple of hours, my mind goes straight to thinking that he's lost interest in me and doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
I've tried occupying myself with work and other activities which make me feel good, but I go straight into feeling anxious and stressed as soon as it's done. I also tend to think that the worst will happen. I just don't want this potential relationship to end up like my past ones.
If anybody has got any tips or has experienced a similar situation, I would love to hear how you coped with the anxiety and worry of a new relationship.
These thoughts are of insecurity, but every time this happens just bring your thoughts back to the present, because these thoughts are only an image of how you are thinking, instead focus on something that requires your attention.
After a while, you will begin to think about the good rather than what your mind continuously creates.
The reason why you think like this is that you are worried about what he thinks of you, then talk to him, tell him what you are thinking about.
Understand your thought pattern and why you start to feel negative, instead turn them into positive thoughts, but can I say that 'love is in the air'.
Enjoy your relationship because after work all you want to do is see him.
I too was exactly in your position ...so Im glad you posted as I have a lot of stuff that I have learned about myself that I hope would help you.
I realise that it was my baggage, my fear of abandonment, my insecurities ...so to speak. I realise it was all my stuff. It was all in my head. Im surprise i was able to Not scare this guy away...lol
I realise that i had not shown myself enough love and respect in my marriage as I was unhappy but overstayed in it trying to save something that was dead a long time ago. So that was all my baggage. I have learned to take the lessons learned but not the baggage ...if you know what I mean.
This guy is not my ex. This guy is not anyone else but himself. So I cannot assume that the same terrible stuff gonna happen with him because it isn't fair.
all things granted ...it could work brilliantly or it might fail miserably ...but it is a new experience...new person etc...but you get the idea.
This guy you are seeing ...needs to be given a clean slate and you should just enjoy this new experience without thinking about your past. and thinking it might end up like that.
I too am scared to lose this guy I am seeing but I aint gonna let the fear kill whatever joy I am feeling right now..
Cos its like we are NOT allowing ourselves to be happy. Both you and I have to believe that we deserve this happiness and allow ourselves to feel in its entirety.
If somehow we do lose this relationship...then we know that deep within ourselves we have strength to once again move on and find a better place. But until that happens....or it may never happen. Who knows what the future brings?? Eh...you and i can guess and be blue in our faces ...and reek ourselves of worry.
I say now...is your time to enjoy what you have in front of you for all its glory . And don't let your past determine your future and present moments.
I hope this helps you as I feel like I am talking to myself...hahahaa
Stay well Penny and keep in touch..and feel those butterflies in your tummy...best feeling ever!!!!!
Penny, I get where your coming from I always seem to self sabotage not wanting too and its so hard.
All I can suggest is some guys are different and don't always communicate as quick as you'd like, Take deep breaths and get in your mind if it's meant to be it will and have faith if he was not interested he'd hopefully let you know! Easier said than done I understand.
Try keep busy and do things for yourself like exercise etc if you can and if you trust this person maybe let him know your fears and reasons and see what they think!
I've pushed so many away based on bad experiences and had regrets.