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Other woman claiming to be pregnant
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry that you are in such a difficult situation. My heart goes out to you.
I agree that she needs professional help and feel like you need protection. I'm wondering how your partner feels about her behavior? Do you see this as a situation where he could help by asking her to back off and asking her to stop contacting you?
It sounds as though the situation is causing you a lot of stress, worry and fear. It might be good for your health to have a chat with your GP or a counsellor just to give you some extra support.
If it was me, I think I would block her from my phone and social media and not give her any space in my head. I would concentrate on direct communication with my partner.
Kind thoughts to you
Welcome to Beyond Blue; I hope you find the answers you are looking for on the forum.
From what you have shared; I think you have summed up the situation very well. Apart from what your partner has told you, whatever you hear from this woman has to treated as suspicious and unreliable. In your words; "half truths".
As to what you should do; that depends on you, your partner, and what you want into the future knowing what you know as fact. From the outside looking in, I see two immediate actions that you can take. I don't think ignoring her is an option.
1) Have a word to your partner and tell him what is going on - if he is committed to you, he will put an end to the threats and the drive- pasts. If that does not work, then go to option 2.
2) Seek and Intervention Order (IVO)
The text messages and the drive-pasts should be more than sufficient to secure an IVO. If you are not sure, go down to your local police station and tell them what is going on. They will look into the matter and issue an IVO on your behalf, if they think it is appropriate. At the very least, it can't hurt to talk to them.
In regard to the DNA test, just ignore it for what it is. A DNA test will require a sample from you partner. Without such a sample, there can be no DNA test; enough said.
Try not to get caught up in her drama. She can claim whatever she likes; that does not make it true.
I'm happy to help out if you have any questions!
He is furious that she has caused so many problems within such a short period of time, and thinks it was her right to sabotage our belongings, the police are yet to be involved, he has cut all contact with her. Yes I have contacted my psychologist just awaiting an appointment.
If she is a threat to you and your family, you can't stand back and do nothing. The problem will not go away, but it can get worse. If this woman is mentally unstable; there is no telling what she might do.
I would think that the text messages, the destruction of property, and the drive-pasts would be sufficient grounds for an IVO. Go and have a talk your you local policeman. They might have a word with her.
For what it's worth, my cousin once found herself in a similiar position to you. In her case, the other woman destroyed property and harassed. She chose to ignore her; no police. After her attempts to destroy the marriage failed she disappeared. My cousin got lucky.
At the time, I advised my cousin to go to police and I suggest you consider it, too. The reason I suggest that is it's impossible to know if the other woman is going to escalate and there is genuine reason to take action to protect your family.
I can only imagine how hard it is for you to be afraid for yourself and your children. Please take good care.
Kind thoughts to you
Maybe just sit with it for awhile. You don't have to rush anything. Your psychologist should be helpful and hopefully it will become clearer in time.
In the meantime, please be kind to yourself, as you're going through such a tough experience. Pamper yourself, love yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for doing your very best to keep yourself well and find a safe path through for you and your family.
Kind thoughts to you