on the edge

[Falling_away_from_me]

my anxiety & depression is eating away at my marriage , I'm always negative and my wife feels she gets nothing from me. it doesn't help that i vocally abused her when drunk on fathers day. i just feel everything is coming to a crossroad & i could lose everything we have

[BballJ]

Hi Falling away from me,

Firstly, welcome to the forums, it takes a lot of courage to post your story here, so please take that as a positive.

Anxiety and depression as you very well seem to know, take a lot out of you, can I ask, are you seeing a GP and a psychologist? You don't have to answer, just trying to gain a little understanding of you.

An important sign here is that you realise the mistake you have made and are willing to try and fix them, that is a great first step, does your wife understand your anxiety and depression to the point where she know's how it can cloud your feelings and ways of expressing yourself? My wife had and still has the hardest time understanding my anxiety, she is finally coming to terms with it, but we still have the occasional argument over it. Are you able to ever just sit and talk to your wife about what you are going through or is that apart of the "feels she gets nothing from me" it's a tough cloud hanging over your head but please keep your head up.

Please post back as much as you wish.

My best for you and your wife.

Jay

[geoff]

hello, please correct me if I'm wrong and I mean no harm in saying this, just want to open up the conversation a little bit, but am I right that you maybe using alcohol as a back stop, in other words, people with depression feel as though they need to self medicate using alcohol, I was one of these people and it was one reason why she divorced me, but I don't want this to happen with your marriage.
Being negative is what depression causes us to do, so this in turn makes our spouse/partner turn away from us, because they can't seem to help you no matter what they suggest, so then in turn a big problem begins, but there is help out there for you, just as there was for me.
You are now at a stage where your depression is causing your wife to turn against you, but instead you need to bring her on board and sit down with her and start the conversation saying that you need help, then she will then be able to organise appointments with your doctor and then psychologist, because there will be times when you say to yourself that you don't feel like going to your psychologist.
Remember you are feeling pretty low now and your mood will be affected, but I hope that you can get back to us so that we can continue on with your comment. Geoff.