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Nothing is working to feel better.

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I'm in my mid 30s and had 6 year relationship my wife. We have two young daughters together and another two daughters she had previously that i had a great connection with. 3 months ago She broke up with me with a text msg and told me I dont make her happy anymore and we are better as friends and then told me no more the 2 weeks later that she is seeing another man, she would not tell me his name and then let him stay in the home I helped create and meet my daughters. these things have absolutely gutted me! I feel so empty and lost and really am finding it hard to get anything done. I have a secure place to stay which is amazing but i have an urge to go home but nowhere feels like it, Even the one I helped create anymore. I had to quit my job that I used to enjoy because I was so unstable emotionally, i felt like bursting out in tears sometimes there and was so irritated with everyone, it was driving me crazy. Anybody who talks to me irritates me now and I've always been a really chilled out and calm human. I went thru all the motions and joined the gym and started that, got vitamins but it does not help and just going there is getting harder to talk myself into still doing. Recently my wife has been trying to get back with me and regrets it all that she done but I could never truly be happy with her anymore after she was with another man and treated me terribly, like a stranger the past few months. Her wanting me back somehow has made me feel even worse and I dont know why. I spend any spare time on my mobile now just to keep somewhat focussed because I feel so scattered. I have my daughters a couple times a week and love them dearly and put on a good act of happiness for them but The whole time they are with me I cannot wait until just go to sleep so I can be alone again, that's horrible, these are the girls that filled my soul with so much joy and happiness by now I'm finding it hard to have them for a night or two.
3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Jjlm,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for reaching out.

I am so sorry for what you have been through with the separation from your wife, and the fact that she moved onto someone else so quickly. I too would not be able to take someone back in that situation because it would feel like betrayal.

When my husband and I separated, after 12 years of marriage, it took him just six weeks before he found a new partner, and she moved in quite quickly. Into the home that he and I had shared and created all our memories in ..... into the bed we shared and into his life as though I had never even been there.

It's great that you are going to the gym, and still spending time with your children. Those things are so important. May I also suggest though that you perhaps consider talking to a counselor and/or your doctor about what has happened, and maybe getting yourself some additional help and support while you navigate your way to a life that you hadn't planned for.

Anyway, I do hope that you start to feel better soon. And feel free to keep posting here. We are here for you. Take care. xo

Thankyou for you response, I have reached out to doctors and the referred me to a councellor but the can not try and help me out until September. Something that continually crosses my mind is if i dont go back she will get with somebody who will be violent or potentially hurt my daughters. I feel the urge to go back but if I did I would be living with somebody that I now have zero respect for. Confused

Community Member

Hi Ajlm

I'm really sorry for what you are going through. I hear you about the wait time for a counselor. If you have the means/funds, do you think you could look at online counselling? I could not wait 12 weeks for an appointment so I engaged with a counselor online and I feel that it is helping me through my darkest times. Good luck and big hugs