Not sure how to move on!
Jazznblues said it well.
Sometimes we can only fix ourselves, not necessarily situations and certainly not others.
Even when we love people our response or reactions when under stress may not have been what we would elect to do under better conditions. Fear and anger can elicit uncharacteristic behaviour.
While you can't change what your husband decides to do or not do you can start anew for you.
What happened happened. You have made your amends legally and you have tried with your husband. Right now you have to look after you.
Look ahead, learn from your experiences. Set your goals. for the day, then for two days, then for the week, the month. Journal your dreams and wishes for the year.
A gratitude journal helped me focus on at least one thing I had to be grateful for that day. It can be as simple as enjoying a sweet banana, finding a seat on the train, fresh water, clean air.
Developing a plan of action for your future - making sure that you have daily goals that are achievable - it could be as simple as getting up in the morning, having a shower, eating breakfast etc. As you feel stronger you can become more demanding in your goals - a job interview etc
Become the person you love so that your heart and mind are ready for the man of your dreams. You never know what or who is around the corner.