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Not being able to trust

Community Member
I have been dating my current boyfriend for a year and a half now and it is my first serious relationship. In this time he hasn't given me any reason to not trust him, but yet i don't. I know where this comes from, about 4 years ago now i was the one to find out my dad was having an affair on my mum. I know my boyfriend is a completely different person but yet i still can't find it in myself to let go and fully trust him. things like talking over facebook and getting left on read and him being active and not replying doesn't help and i know he doesn't mean it but my mind goes to the worst possible thoughts otherwise when i'm with him i am fine. I have thought about just not talking during the day but i feel as if i would still have those same feelings if he is still using social media.

Is there anything i can do to fully open my heart and trust him 100% ? i am open to any suggestions
1 Reply 1

Community Member

Hi Maltagirl

i understand where you are coming from. My dad cheated on my mum with her best friend. This went on for 5 years before it all came out. We saw and heard things that no teenager should see or hear. That was many years ago now.

it took me longer than most people to find my first boyfriend because of this.

Truthfully, time helps. I found a good man that I trusted. We aren’t together now but he restored my faith in men. Those feelings of insecurity reared their ugly head in other relationships, in this one it never did. I think reassurance from your partner helps. Also try changing your way of thinking. You said it in your post. Your boyfriend isn’t your dad. Think that when you are feeling anxious.

It took me a long time. Just go easy on yourself. 🙂