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Nieces Graduation-Cannot attend. Feeling very sad and hurt.
I know that Mia will be fine with me not attending. I have had to work through that which has been very hard for me. I have to keep myself safe though. I have bought Mia gifts for her graduation and a card. I will be sending them off tomorrow. I bought her a diary to write in saying you are one in a million, I bought her a book to write in titled writing my future. I bought her a unicorn figurine to hold onto when she is nervous and as a reminder that I believe in her and two very nice ballpoint pens. I wrapped it up in puppy dog gift wrap as I know she loves dogs. I guess it is my way of showing her how much I love her and a way of having my influence in her life. She is old enough to send emails now so we occasionally email. I have made sure she knows throughout her life how much I do love her and will always be there for her.
I feel immense anger towards my sister for robbing me of someone that meant everything to me. I still cry over it. It wasn't enough for both my parents to steal my childhood and young adulthood but my sister decided to take it one step further and rob me of my niece and also rob my niece of me. I never had any children of my own and never will so having Mia although I respected her mother and her mother doing the raising, I felt Mia was my little piece of joy that I could be an aunt to her. I had many hopes and dreams and the love I had and still have for Mia was akin to a mothers love. I am slowly but very painfully letting go of Mia a bit more. She is 12 now and she knows where I am and she knows I will always be there for her. I have to take care of my broken heart and that I have fallen to pieces over it. I can take no more. Need some support. Thanks.
You are such a beautiful radiant person. At times it can be so hard to see our own brilliance whilst in the dark. You are a great teacher yet the question remains 'Who's willing to learn?' I believe Mia is learning from you; how could she not. Personally, I'd much prefer the deeply thoughtful gifts as opposed to another face in the crowd. I must say, the meaning behind those gifts deeply touches my soul.
2quik, I regard myself as a spiritual gal (of the non religious variety). From a spiritual perspective, I see you as what some regard as a lightworker. You may be raising an eyebrow perhaps yet let me elaborate. A lightworker's role is to bring light to one whose mind is open as well as bringing light to one whose mind is closed. For one whose mind is open, your light truly appears as brilliant and guiding. For one whose mind is closed, it can feel almost impossible to open their mind to your enlightenment. You can try and try and try yet the challenge you face can feel impossible and draining. You accepted the challenge in raising the consciousness of others when you decided to address issues that needed addressing. If those around you were to accept the challenges you have posed - raising their consciousness - and you had succeeded in doing this, you would be regarded by them as amazing.
Our light is recognised easily by those who see it. It is not recognised by those who don't. It always shines no matter what, as long as we continue to challenge those whose task it is to rise. Such challenges can feel draining, which is why it's important you have influences in your life that raise you in some way, restoring your energy. It takes a lot to power a powerhouse such as your self.
You're an inspiration. I see your light!
Interesting handle you chose. I just want to say this post has floored me. I will respond,I just want some time to process and I'm so emotional.
In brief, I will confirm I am a lightworker. It's lovely to meet another. I don't know any others. Thank you for your response.
It's taken me a bit to respond , yet here it is. I understand your first paragraph in all its entirety and expression. I've been abused my whole life. Sometimes the dark gets angry at the light for lighting up the dark and takes it out on the light. I got tired of it all being taken out on me (horrific abuse) that I felt no more. It's time to walk away. 40 years was too much.
When you said teacher, I got taken aback by it for my own reasons. I will need to explore that more. It's not the first time I have heard it.
Hmmmm...... I'm not sure how much Mia is learning from me. I'm really not sure. Her mother and grandmother have had way more influence in her life. It was hurting me to fight and try. It was like a game for her and I knew it. I got tired of me crying and my heart breaking. It came down to me being forced to make a difficult choice. I chose me. I maintain what I can for Mia only. In saying that it's killed a piece of my heart and the lack of care regarding that speaks volumes.
Thank you for seeing the immense love behind my gifts for Mia.
It's nice to make your acquaintance spiritual gal. I totally love the way you wrote your second paragraph. I understood it completely. They had a choice and they chose that they wished not to raise their consciousness and that was there choice to make. My chances ran out and I needed to go from their lives. Sad but true.
I don't know where too from now therising. I guess go where I'm appreciated. It's extremely powerful what you wrote here and beautifully expressed. It hit my soul.
I understand, not everyone wants to ascend or rise as you call it. I'm getting pretty good at picking em now.
It's interesting your post has really been quite intriguing to me and is joining a few dots together. I do not know many others, I am trying to meet more though. I have met one right here.
Thank you for a beautiful post and for reaching back.