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Newly separated and feeling lost

Community Member
So my ex gusband and I have seperated for good and has left me financially struggling and now i feel i cant do anything right... Ive had to have an AVO against him as well and my little boy is so lost as well ... sees mum crying and guves cuddles and kisses and tells me it's ok we will be ok.. I just wish i had my sons enthusiasm as I know he's right but just feel so lost and on my own and like no body cares or even wants to listen as they're always busy...
4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi Elmo85, I know how is the feeling when this happened. I have been through this weeks ago, you have your little boy and you should talk to your friends or family. They may be busy but if you reach them I am sure they will listen to you. I kept the sadness myself on the 1st week when I found out the guy I have been seeing has lied to me, I was lost and heart broken. I finally told a friend who is living overseas, she listened to me and replied my messages whenever I reached her.

Please remember there are many people who care of you as long as you let them know your problem. We all have to be strong and be positive! Today's pain is tomorrow's strength!

Community Member

Hi Elmo85.

I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm not going to be much help here more a I know what your going through, to a point.

I have no children but last month the man I thought was my whole future left me after 12 yrs. Pretty much out of the blue and all his reason so far have been incredibly selfish. I am struggling big time. We both have our own mental demons to handle (I acknowledge mine he isn't with his) but I was wanting to work through them together but he decided its just too hard. He's a completely different person and treating me like the enemy.

I am lucky I do have some mates to turn too but they have never been in this situation and can only be as supportive as their own experiences.

Are you seeing a professional. I would strongly suggest that even if its just to vent in a safe environment. Might be helpful for your little boy too. Sounds like a really rough situation but chatting on here and reading others posts I have found to help too.

Sorry if I've not been much help.

Community Member

Hi Elmo85,

I'm really sad to hear of your situation, breakups are the worst. Firstly, Financially. have you tried all of the charities? they can help you with some gift cards to buy some groceries. and also you can ask for help from your local community center for eepa vouchers to help with your electricity.

I too am recently separated, and and its awfull feeling, but I try and occupy my mind as much as possible, whether its listening to music, or drawing, or whatever hobbie you are into, just jump into it. next, don't isolate yourself, get outside everyday and see friends or family.

With an AVO in place, that will give you some peace of mind that your situation at home will be a safer place, both mentally and physically. at the same time, your Ex will most probably want to see your son, and, your son needs his dad, this relationship is seperate to the one that you had with your ex, and should be encouraged.

Do you think you and your ex, will, in the future be able to co parent for the sake of your son? if so, that would be the best outcome, If not, there are services around where you can do the exchange without having to be in direct contact with each other.

In any case I hope you start to feel better, and I hope the situation works out in the best way for your son, as he deserves the best. Take care.

l'm not sure who left who , avo , maybe you did the leaving but not sure.

Thing is , have been through it and protected my daughter, none of this adult garbage was her fault of course and it's way way way too much than an 11 yr old should deal with.

l covered my feelings for 3yrs , it wasn't fair for her to have to not only deal with her family breaking up but to have to cope with her dad in a mess too and l think you should protect your son also . It is way way too much for the little man to deal with and on top of everything else he'll be going through. Use your friends or family or BB and anything else you can , but you need to be there for your son and be happy for him , you need to help him through this .

But on your side of things , there's a lot out there for women, l only wish l was one when l was going through all this because tehre was nothing for the man. So look around and make some calls and come to BB and your family or friends. It's asad sad thing , all of it , l know , no winners . But hold on and hang in there , baby steps a day a time for now.

same with the finances , l don't even wanna talk about what l had to cope with but there are ways and you find them day ata time or you go without . Try not to stress though your sone needs you , you will find ways. just hold on and keep trying. Good luck.