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Newbie with Difficult breakup

Tiredeyes
Community Member
Here goes i don't talk much or have any close friends in Australia i have recently broken up with my partner of 10 years who has struggled with depression and anxiety I've always been there for her or tried the best i can in bad time she tells me to leave her or not to leave she has told me she will hurt herself if i leave her but she also begged me to let her do it she has been using ice almost everyday since February that i know of last month i threw away her drugs which made her angry so she broke up with me then which now that i think of it caused me some anxiety and depression i Havant eaten properly since then she has sad some nasty things to me which have damaged my self esteem we own a house together, car and all the things u accumulate over the years she is looking for a place to move to we are still in the same house which is very hard for me since she goes out partying, and getting drugs for herself and her friends i know shes been telling her friends lies about how we broke up but i don't want to confront her as she will just lie and get ugly we recently had a argument and the threatened to chainsaw everything in half, i am confused as to how this all happened i have been to a GP and he diagnosed me with depression and anxiety i have an appointment to see a psychiatrist but thats not untill the 24th i feel pretty worthless and alone i know that us breaking up is the best thing for my own health but i am in a sad place i dont know how to get myself back up
4 Replies 4

pipsy
Community Member

Dear Tiredeyes. It must be an awful feeling to know that someone you love so much has these problems that you can't handle. Unfortunately, till your gf reaches out and asks for help there's not a lot you can do. Keeping away from her and her so-called friends is a good idea, till either you regain your emotional strength or she 'sees' the light and gets help. Unfortunately her drug problem has gained momentum for her, plus her friends encouraging her toxic behaviour. You mentioned a psych appointment but not till the 24th, which must seem a long time to wait, given your present situations. Have you discussed with your G.P the possibility of finding emergency accommodation, till you're able to either re-locate permanently or she leaves. Maybe sharing accommodation, there are places advertised online, people advertising rooms/granny flats etc. I don't where you're living but I've often noticed these places and it would be better for you to be away from the environment till you're better. If you are not working, but looking, or on any sort of C'link scheme, I know under certain circumstances they offer financial support. In the meantime our helpline is available as is lifeline if you just need to talk. Did your Dr prescribe any sort of AD's to help keep you calm? Perhaps re-visiting might be a good idea.

The phone number for our 24 hour helpline is listed above.

Lynda.

Tiredeyes
Community Member

Thanks Lynda

i didnt know i could ask my GP about accomodation i might go stay in a motel or something i still need to look after our dogs as she forgets to feed them sometimes and my cousin lives with us too, i dont think shel get help she doesnt think theres a problem with her using she always tels me i judge her when she uses or gets drunk but i tell her shes not the same person she hit me last year and has cheated on me in the past i want to help her but i cant if she doesnt see a problem and our relationship is over

pipsy
Community Member

Hi Tiredeyes. It sounds like a good idea to stay in a motel till you can relocate. There are pet-friendly motels around, so that would solve the situation with the dogs too. Unfortunately, you may be right at this time about your gf's refusal to admit to having any problems. When people have any sort of addiction, the hardest part is getting them to face and accept they have the problem. I'm hoping you're leaving may be a shock enough for her to seek help, but in the meantime, you need to care for you, your cousin and the dogs. I would still talk to your G.P and get his/her advice re: relocating. Also explaining why. Are her family aware of this problem, perhaps you may have to tell them she is having substance abuse problems and you have to leave. I realise you may not want to involve them, but they may want to know where you are and why you've left. Once they're aware, perhaps they can help.

Try not to judge her, as she needs help and support (not from you at this time). But eventually she may reach out, so if you can, maybe through her family, keep an ear open.

Take care of you and your cousin and dog.

Lynda.

Tiredeyes
Community Member

Hi Lynda

her family have never treated her well her brother has just come over from new zealand because he messed up his life with ice there before he came she said she wouldnt give him any but as soon as he got here she gave it to him now theyre doing it togeher im feeling pretty lost and down i barely have the strength to help myself but i got out of the house today and walked my done which i havent done in months poor thank u for your kind words