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PineLime
Community Member

Hi,

I'm a late 30's disabled guy, moved to melbourne to be close to friends but now find myself alone.

Was born with Spina Bifida and in 2009 lost my left leg due to hospital negligence.

I feel like the world keeps dumping things on me and im slowly slipping like i have no reason for anything.

Blah im rambling... just wanted to say hello

7 Replies 7

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi pinelime welcome

I find I constantly need to inject positive things into my life in order to counteract the struggles.

One thing I do is listen to a spiritual man called Maharaji.

It isn't religion. Try googling the following. It might have an effect.

Maharaji Prem rawat sunset

Maharaji Prem rawat the perfect instrument

There are many more. I use it for relaxation.

by the way. Moving to be close to friends doesn't often work IMO. It isn't you, its common.

Tony WK

blondguy
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Pinelime

Welcome to the Community and thanks for having the strength to post.

You are not rambling at all...it takes a lot to post and good on you! I cannot imagine what you have and are going through. I have no knowledge about Spina Bifida or losing a leg. Forgive me if I am ignorant.

The forums are full of super kind people that can be here for you Pinelime. You are in your in your late 30's and shouldnt have to be where you are right now. It breaks my heart PL.

I have had acute anxiety and then depression for many years, just to let you know who you are talking to.

Even being ignorant of what you are going through I really hope you can be a part of our family on BB. You are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish.

I am stuck here with what you have gone through physiologically Pinelime....I hope you can educate me/us about what you are going through. It would be great if you could post back, when you wish of course 🙂

My kindest wishes for you

Paul

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
hi PineLime, what a great decision you're make by coming to this site and logging on as a new member, so you're
most welcome.
What you have been through is something a lot of us haven't had to experience, so you have all of our sympathy for what has happened, because your life has been a real struggle for 30 years, so please I hope that you can accept us as being your friend.
There must be so much that is bottled up inside and not knowing who to turn to, but now all of a sudden you have instantly made many friends who only want to help you, so I definitely hope that we can hear back from you. Geoff.

PineLime
Community Member

Thank you for your welcomes.

I'm not sure where to begin with everything. I do remember a time, not so long ago when i was happy. I had just lost my leg and i weighed 200kg (yeah huge but i didn't care just wanted my life over), a girl i had met 9 years prior at a random party found her way into my life. We spent every day together, randomly one day she told me that she wanted me to take her to the beach. Couldn't really do that weighing 200kg and having just lost my leg and given up even thinking about walking. So i turned everything around, i had a reason. I learnt how to walk again lost 60kg, it was 12 months later and i proposed, she rejected. 2 months later she moved in with 60 year old guy because she wanted someone rich.

The beginning of that story was the happiest tone of my life. Every year since then ive moved to different places looking for where i belong. No luck yet just continuously sinking

Sorry pinelime for that event. It happens all too often.

At the end if the day we are all responsible for our proper perspectives on life. Its hard, what can we do?

People looking for a suitable partner primarily look at character or more specific ..humour as number one. Get a prospective partner laughing and you are in with a chance

Noticed on TV reality show "love at first sight". Bride who'd never met her groom thought he was unattractive. But this guy had her in stitches regularly with his bad jokes. He had character. Turned out that couple had the strongest relationship by the end if the show.

Set about making short, medium and long term plans. Register for an online dating site when emotionally ready. This method allows you and any prospective partner to narrow down their choices.

I've known several friends including my daughter and fiance that have met online.

Good luck.

Tony WK

Welcome to the forum PineLime.

Take things a day at a time and go easy on yourself, you sound like you've lived through some challenges.

Firstly, do you do anything for you? A hobby, a pet etc. This may help your outlook in dark times. I know my cat does, he helped me today in fact, my head was in a dark place and he demanded to play and I found myself smiling at him.

Are you ready to attempt to make new friends, I too need to do this, but found that coming here is a good start. Check with your local council about what any community centres near you offer, their activities are usually low cost. Also, is volunteering an option? Something else that might help and which I do.

Let us know how things progress, everyone here is very nice 🙂

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
hi PineLime (PL), how disappointing life can be at times, but on the other side your loss of weight far outweighs the loss of this lady who couldn't have been more trouble for you if she stayed with you, and as it has turned out, thatt what it would have been like.
The weight you have lost is fantastic and that requires great concentration and a a goal you wanted to aim for, and you have reached it, the only problem is having to buy new clothes,but I'm sure that doesn't mean anything.
Love has so many meanings to it, where people are capable of saying they love you, but on the other hand do something behind your back which would annoy you if you had found out.
I must say that I'm am pleased that she has gone, because if had stayed together there would have been more nightmares for you, a bit difficult to accept that at the moment but in the long run please try and believe.
The determination that you have obtained by losing a leg ( unfortunately) and then losing 60 kg is remarkable, so I applaud you for your total courage, well done, and there will be someone who will also admire you for the effort you have achieved. Geoff.