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New here, looking for a bit of a vent
I lost a dear friend of mine, we hadn’t been close for quite some time, but was a huge part of my life growing up, and was still a part of my life till they were gone. I think I’m almost back to my normal self now, I still think about them every day and their memories make me smile. But I cannot for the life of me get a grip on balancing my emotions. I go from feeling fine to crying, or fuming mad. The smallest thing that used to just make me sulk a little and move past brings me to tears. My little pet peeves drives me confronting people.
I don’t know if this is me now, where I just can’t hold things in, or if I’m still going through some things.
The memories aren't going to stop straight away, they can't and yes there are going to be many situations that you come along or you see a resemblance to what's happening around you that will take you back when you were both together.
The thoughts will always be with you, and over time they will remain but won't be so dominant, never the less you should make an appointment with your doctor who may suggest prescribing medication, please don't take this as being anything more than being able to help you through this.
I am also very sorry for the loss of your friend. Everything must feel so emotionally charged for you right now: deeply sad, hurt, confusion, anger, etc. It is so painful when the memories remain but the person does not...
I feel that there is no right or wrong way to deal with loss. Do what you need to do. Tears are okay and no tears is also okay too. Take your time. Perhaps give yourself space to process what has happened.