FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Never good enough

Loulou_bell
Community Member
My whole life ive felt like a let down, but latley my partner and my own children make me feel unworthy. I wake up everyday and play pretend but inside im hurting so much i wish i could be want everyone wants me to be.
2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

Life can be an elusion, our mind isn't clear - it can even lie to us.

The fact is your children if they could communicate clear and wise they would tell you how special you are and how they need you. Yet your mind tells you otherwise- why? because they cannot tell you that yet.

Your partner might not communicate well enough or is over critical of you. That could be simply normal the way he is and his communication isn't perfect nor kind enough to satisfy your lack of self esteem.

So, because praise is absent sometimes we need to do it ourselves and force ourselves to be more kind- to us.

Please google

Beyondblue topic the best praise you'll ever get

Beyondblue topic low self esteem

You are the best mother your children will ever have. Fact.

TonyWK

therising
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

A warm welcome to you Loulou bell

I believe when it comes to the feeling of unworthiness or worthlessness, it can be constructive to first question how we initially learned about our sense of value in this world. It's strange to think that many of us will go through our entire life grading and degrading our self without ever having learned the truth in regard to our value, our richness.

In a society where value is typically based on financial wealth, performance, appearance, social status and so on, let me take that list and show you how a false sense of value can mess with us. By the way, up until about a year ago I was a stay at home mum:

  • Some may have said that I was worth less than my husband because I wasn't bringing in an income
  • Some may have said I was 'lazy' and worth less than mothers in dual income families
  • I'm a 48yo women with grey hair who's working on losing a few kilos, for health reasons. Some may say I am worth less than a younger more youthful looking slim woman
  • Being a mum is an important role in this world yet, nowadays, it's a role that's perceived as being worth less than what it used to be, in the way of social status

So, that's an example of how we can be left feeling worth less than others (aka worthless), based on learned false values and comparison.

The truth is found in what we have in common. We have a mind that is powerful enough to make a heaven of hell and (unfortunately) a hell of heaven. It is a facilitator of amazing things, including imagination/invention. We have a body that adapts to almost any circumstance. It is filled with incredible chemistry and the ability to give us breath and a heart beat thousands upon thousands of times without us having to think. We have amazing amounts of energy surging through us and outside of us, connecting us to all of life. Of course, our energy levels vary, depending on our mental and physical states.

Placing value in the basics of our mind, body and spirit means we can place authentic value in ourselves as both humble and thoughtful students and teachers in the way of life. As a student, you have already learned your children are miracles, who for 9 months developed from a seed. As a teacher, you have the ability to give them the gift of knowing such a truth regarding their value.

In moments of mental conflict there is always something to be learned. Often, the lesson is 'We have not been dealing with the truth'. The ultimate challenge is to find it.

Take care miraculous one