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I left my husband last year. Not long after we were married he slept with another man and then told me. I stayed for a few years thinking I was doing the right thing by my children. I literally only had sex with him a hand full of times after that as it was literally making feel ill even touching him. When I left I moved into a rental cause he wouldn’t move out. My 11 year old daughter moved with me but my teenage son stayed with his dad. My son has not stayed with my overnight since I left but my daughter goes to him every second weekend. We are only now going down the legal root cause we can’t do anything but argue about everything. We tried meditation he cancelled that, he just wants to fight me on everything. He was the one who messed up are marriage yet he is still in the family home with all its contents and has the kids more than I do. I am feeling so helpless at the moment and don’t know what to do.
I see that this is your first post; welcome to BB.
Separation is hard, especially when children are involved and when one person behaves badly. When parent's cannot agree, mediation is the go-to solution. When that fails, lawyers are required to get things moving back to mediation or arbitration.
At this point in time I would suggest that legal advice is the way forward; stop arguing; stop fighting; it will get you nowhere; I've been there.
Unless family violence is an issue, the law does not care about the reason for the separation/divorce. For better or for worse, we have a no-fault divorce system here in Oz. The law does not care why the marriage failed, but it does care about what is just and equitable when it come to parenting and property.
Have you been in touch with the "Women's Legal Service" (WSL); they may provide you with cost effective advice and legal representation if needed. If think their services are means tested; but I'm not sure. Worth a phone call.
Try not to worry about the inequity of your current situation; that will be corrected at some future date. Generally, that means a bigger slice of the property pool. In the end, everything will even out financially and parenting wise.
You will get through this; you just need the right legal and emotional support.
It will take time to sort out the legal issues; especially if your ex will not cooperate; you can do nothing about that.
I think it is harder for the spouse that moves out of the family home. The transition is very confronting and immediate; it is a bit of a reality slap.
If you need any help; just post here.