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Narcissistic Abuse & Anxiety

Community Member

Almost 3 years ago I left my Abusive Narcissistic Husband of 12years, I packed up my two young children and moved out. In the few months that followed I was plagued with crippling Anxiety and tremors, that wasn’t really addressed.

up until that point I had believed that I’d never had Anxiety before, but I’ve come to the realisation that it has always been with me (constantly feel unworthy, overthink, and needing validation), and that both of my parents have narcissistic tendencies and now I believe they may have conditioned me to not only accept the behaviour of my ex but I enabled him as well.

Ive always had a close relationship with my mum, and now I’m struggling with how to address it, and now I’m wracked with guilt for distancing myself from my mum, but I don’t want to be manipulated anymore

3 Replies 3

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Flinders and welcome to Beyond Blue

Things sound very difficult for you - understandably so. You have been through quite a bit of trauma with both your parents and your husband, all having narcissistic tendencies, so it is no wonder you have anxiety and tremors. My heart goes out to you.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though. From my own experience I've found that recovery and healing are possible. It takes time and some really good health professionals experienced with trauma therapy.

Are you seeing anyone, e.g. a doctor or health professional about your anxiety that would appear to stem from trauma? I've found that establishing relationships with my doctor and psych I was able to move forward and beyond the crippling anxiety and tremors.

Addressing the situation with your mother may take a little more. One thing though - while you feel guilt from distancing yourself, it is really okay to do that. It's your own survival that is important. Absolutely no guilt necessary. There are many people here who have lived experiences like you. When you feel up to it, and if you want to (if you haven't already done so), do searches using the search tool at the top of our webpage for keywords, e.g. -

  • Narcissistic abuse
  • Narcissistic behaviour
  • Narcissistic

No pressure to do anything you don't want to Flinders. Just thought you may find it helpful to know you're not alone.

Kind regards



no I haven’t seen anyone in quite a while, GP prescribed an anti anxiety medication for me when I was at my worst, although it stopped the tremors I felt dazed and stopped eating completely and loss stacks of weight. So I ended up not continuing with it, I’m just not feeling confident to talk face to face with someone with this currently. And I’m in a regional area so I’m not sure where to start to look.

i have a wonderful new partner who is very understanding and supportive, and my kids, so for that reason I know I need to get past this for their and my own happiness

Thank you for sharing your story, and I wish you all the best. The tiniest of small steps help!