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My thoughts are controlling my

Community Member

Hi I'm just looking for some help,

ive recently broken up with my partner of four years but we do have a 10 year old son together that we had when we weren't together.

He left 2 and a half months ago and I cannot get past it I don't sleep, I cry I am constantly getting these thoughts in my head that control me so much that I get so worked up over them I end up texting him horrible nasty things which makes things even worst as all I want to do is work this out with him.

Originally he said that he would stay at a friends and we would both get the help we needed to fix our flaws but my emotions and thoughts got that bad and controlling he ended up finding a house to move in which I preety much pushed him into with all the things in my head. I'm constantly thinking his with somebody else or he wants somebody else I cannot stop them. I have thought about ending my life thinking that it will be best for everybody on numerous times.

i don't know if it's anxiety also as I get so worked up sometimes I can't breathe and I just go on this texting calling rampage. He says he can't be with me until he sees a change but I don't know how to change it It over powers me. I am seeing a councillor and she is great I've been going for 2 months she gives me homework and I feel better for a couple days until I see something on Facebook or hear about what his doing or hear from him at all it just comes back and I cannot get rid of it. I can't sleep I feel mentally exhausted. It's all I think about my head just does not stop with controlling my emotions and thoughts.

I want it to stop and I don't know how too I hate it I hate that I feel like this I hate that I do this to him

I was like this also before we got together 4 years ago.

My stomach feels like it's a whirlwind at times

i feel like crap

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Lou, welcome

I see a major flaw here. A relationship is between both people. You treat yourself so badly as if your partner has no faults at all. Not realistic IMO. Also some chemistry can be lacking with couples and that isn't the fault of anyone.

So firstly stop criticising yourself so much. He has faults also and a clear one is demanding change from you which appears character based which is a tall ask.

At this time your son remains your top priority. Think of him when you are down. Keep busy, hobbies, coffee with friends, gym, walking, a sport even dating.

One persons view of you, a negative one can destroy your self worth. But another's view of you might one day place you on the throne that the princess in you deserves.

Settle for nothing less

Tony WK

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Lou, it takes two to tango is an old saying, in other words both of you have problems that need to be sorted out, but this will never happen if you continue to send messages which he will just delete as soon as he receives them from you, because a couple need to be able to talk in a sensible way, and not by one of you being abusive, so even though you are so upset and probably frustrated by him moving into a house with the expectations that he may have someone else to live with him.
Reading messages on facebook, well a lot of people find it to be amusing, informative, to keep in touch but what it can and will do is annoy and upset their friends if they go over board at the spur of the moment, which they may feel embarrassed about later on, and the best idea is to block this person as hard this maybe, but it's just going to feed your anxiety and annoyance.
I seem to feel as though you want to live with him in the house, and this can happen, but you have to stop sending nasty text meassages, don't look at facebook and then go and see your doctor, because if you start counselling first then that's to your advantage.
Hope this hasn't hurt you from what I have said, because I have no intention of doing this. Geoff.