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My second husband has left me and my kids , I'm not coping

Sherman
Community Member

After 3 years together and 1 year of marriage my husband had taken his son and left me and my kids. We have been dealing with my ex in court and it's not going away anytime soon. 

When he disagrees with anything I do or say he goes off , yelling swearing and bring very confronting. After another argument about disipline he become confronting and I told him to leave the house. 

Today he has done so 

taking no responsibility for what he did at all

my kids are devastated as am I and I can't function 

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Sherman

There are of course two sides to every story. In this case it is a classic case of just that.

Dealing with your ex with court issues there will be differences and each person, you and your current partner need to respect the others views. This is all good in theory, not so easy in practice to disagree and be supportive at the same time.

An ultimatum doesn't help matter. Tell a man to leave the house and he likely will. You also are responsible for what you do and say in an argument. Throw in the challenging situation of a blended family with firey topics like discipline and you have a separation on your hands.

This is clearly a case for relationship counselling because you both need help to get through the minefield of issues confronting you both. Included in that is how he can control his temper and be less aggressive. Also for you to limit your discussion about court issues, about a man (your ex) that is perhaps smothering your partner with discussion that overloads his mind.

So while I sympathise with you in your current situation you both need to self reflect on your own actions and words, ultimatums and aggression.

It isn't easy having a blended family with differences either. In fact it is likely quadruple the stress of getting it "right".

Good luck.

Tony WK

ci
Community Member
Sherman my heart goes out to you. It is so much stress blending a family and dealing with ex partners. It puts a strain on relationships right from the start. Take time to let everything calm down don't make rush decision. Counselor could be great option to get outside help and strategies to help relationship.