My relationship is in ruins with my partner and 2 toddlers

[Dadwith2toddlers]

It's been an extremely tough week. Last Monday I was asked to leave my home by Child Protective Services over a report that was made. I had said a terrible thing to my 3 year old daughter and it upset my partner. She talked about what was said to her counsellor and the counsellor thought what said was concerning enough to contact CPS. I have really struggled as a dad for a couple of years now. I've found myself getting angry at my kids for the stupidest reasons. E.g. spilling food on the floor, not listening to me when I tell them to stop.

It's gotten to the point where I raise my voice to my kids in anger. It's pretty much borderline verbal abuse as I've been told by my partner.

I'm not allowed back home now to see my family which is the toughest thing because I miss them like crazy. I'm missing out on their lives for the next month/s until I have made an effort to seek help and when I have been making progress, only then will I be able to return home. I don't physically abuse my children as that not in my nature, but I do feel my verbal communication on occasion has been a bit harsh.

I will do whatever it takes to be allowed back home because at this point in time. I'm not allowed to visit them without supervision. I just want to be back home with my family but I have to look after myself and learn to be a better father figure.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

That's a tough situation to be in.

When the time comes that the authorities consider you greater access even unsupervised access you need to be ready. By that I would suggest commencing an anger management course, relaxation classes, counseling for yourself.

A good father will do what it takes. You can do this, get through it. Time will pass and this bleak period can become a past memory.

Owning your flaws is a hood step forward. As far as separation from your kids, treat it physically like its a business trip overseas. Many dads are separated for ling periods.

TonyWK

[Billyc]

Hi Dad,

sorry your going through this, but I do feel that you have already taken some accountability.. that’s a big and hard step forward and you should be proud of that.

What white knight said has some powerful stuff.

kids are resilient, this short term

absence will be a glitch on their radar.

I’d be prepared to bet they miss you as much as you miss them. Take solace in that.

It will help with this journey,

keep in touch, I can relate to your experiences...

all the best

[Summer Rose]

Hi Dadwith2toddlers

Your post was really gut wrenching and I feel your pain. Having said that, you should be so proud of yourself.

You are being honest about your issues and you are preparing to face them. That's all anyone can do. Nobody can change the past, but we can all learn, adapt and make a better future. That's the path you are now on and I wish you the best of luck.

I would like to suggest that you look up a couple of books by one of Australia's best-known family therapists, Steven Biddulph. He is the author of Manhood and The New Manhood, both excellent reads. Perhaps you will find some greater understanding of yourself and some pearls of wisdom.

Please don't beat yourself up too much. We all make mistakes in life and parenting is really hard for everyone, you are not alone. But it will get better. Your partner and your children need the best version of you and you can deliver.

Kind thoughts to you