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My Partners Mother is crazy

Community Member

I honestly don't know what to do about this lady. My future in law. My partner and I are quite serious about our relationship, but his mother is convinced that I'm a good digger or to that affect. She's recently divorced last year and has a relationship with a man who everytime I see him, he has a drink in hand or smells of alcohol and smoke, she has triplet boys at home as well as my partner who still lives at home. She harasses him about him spending money all The time, even though that money is money he has earned himself and spends on things he wants, she complains that I don't spend as much money on him, so why should he be using his on me? I'm a student currently looking for work and he has a job.

Just yesterday she kicked him out of her house, which he pays rent and board money to live at, and told him to do what he wants, with seemingly no trigger at why she was angry at all. She was apparently upset that all I bought my partner for his birthday was a key ring, but we also went out on a date and dinner earlier that week, as well as Christmas, I didn't give him a present, because we went on a trip together for New Years.

Now, she's harassing him with messages that I'm no good for him, and that I'm just using him and one day he'll see I'm no good at all. She never talks to me, and ignores my attempts at conversation. I really don't know how to clear her misconceptions of me, if she won't even talk to me.

For the time being my partner is staying with me and friends, but we're both scared to death of her because she's saying things like she'll call the police for assault and tresspassing when we went to gather his belongings. She had the aura of someone who would kill, were honestly scared she would try to.

how do you even deal with someone is a reasonable way, when they have no reason?

4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi Angelstar,

Welcome to the forum.

It's seems like your future MIL is a narcissistic person and perhaps she has other mental issues too. By what you are saying she is really jealous of you and probably prefer her son to spend his money on her.

I'm having similar problems with my own mother with her attitude, I limit my contact with her and when she does ser me she is sensible.

I suggest you stay right away for your own SANITY and talk to your partner about changing his phone number, his mother seems toxic to your relationship, you don't need that, sounds like she lives with a junkie so she is crazy herself.

Sometimes it's best to cut contact with certain people.


Community Member

Hi Angelstar. Touille said it all. All I can add is, you are dealing with the MIL from Hell. There is no way she will ever accept you or anyone her son makes a relationship with. Her bf is obviously feeding her insecurities as he possibly realizes you are a decent girl but because you present a threat to MIL's 'tranquil' life with the son, she will not rest till you are 'out of the picture'. Whether your bf realizes how sick his mother is, is anybody's guess. Be a bit careful what you say about her. She is still his mother, he may try to defend her because of who she is rather than what she's doing. Definitely stay clear till the dust settles (if it does).


Thanks Touille, it's really nice to have some suggestions about what to do. I will keep away and maintain my sanity 🙂

Community Member
Pipsy, he is aware that something's not right with his mum, and we just really didn't know what to do about her. For the time being, we're keeping our distance until the dust does indeed settle if it ever does