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My partner is an ice user

Likeadream
Community Member

I met my partner 4 years ago...I was in a relationship with my sons (8yearsold) dad..there was no love in that relationship and when my son was 6 I split up with his dad...I had fallen for a guy at work! He was mesmerizing!!! He wa something different to what I was used too...he was like me...loud/funny/bubbly/happy...

we moved in together pretty quick...I had one done (8years) and he has 2 daughters (8 & 4) to 2 different mums..

i took on the step mum role to his beautiful daughters instantly...I instantly love these girls as if they were my own!!!

a few months after he moved in, he care home..dilated pupils and not wanting dinner...now being 29..I’ve experimented...I’m not dumb..he denied that he was on anything...he later told me he was...(ummm no derrr)

I told to him how I had only experimented a few times with crack and wasn’t interested and didn’t want to be with anyone that was smoking crack...

I have done it with him 3 times and every single time I was intoxicated when he offered...of course I accepted...being kid free and feeling pretty free I said yes! STUPID MISTAKE!

Lately he has been hitting the pipe pretty hard...he thinks I don’t know...but I’m seriously not that daft!!!!

he has become really distant...I’m always the one trying to fix things...he knows how much it hurts me and every time he does it I cry and “carry on”

he doesnt realize that him and our 3 children are everything I have (father and brothers live interstate and my mum passed away 5 years ago)

when he is not on crack...he is the most amazing person I have ever met...I’m so physically and mentally attracted to this man...he makes me laugh every second I am with him...I just feel like he is pushing me away and I have no say In anything that goes on...

2 Replies 2

Likeadream
Community Member

I love this man with everything I have...tonight he told me I loved him too much...maybe I do over love him...but he and our 3 kids are everything I have...I seriously try my hardest to make sure the 4 of them are happy and healthy...

when ever he smokes cracks everything is about him and I over react to everything...I feel Like there is some gaslighting going on or I’m going  insane...

i have been crying for the last 2 hours because he came home off his face acting like I’m the worst person In The world because last night (our last kid free night for a week) I was lounging on the couch ...he sat at the other end of the couch...we went to bed and I noticed that he didn’t want to go to bed so I said...if u don’t want to go to bed that’s fine..before I could say anything he was like awesome I’ll go finish watching the tv show......he had a go at me saying I should have said something.

he knows that he is everything I have...maybe it’s too much for him...I’m not sure...

I think about him in every single decision I make...he makes decisions without me...

he used to lay on the same couch as me...hang washing with me...every single night...now I can barely get him to come do food shopping with me...

I’m so lost...if I lost my partner...I’d lose

evwrything..

 

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Likeadream, can I offer a warm welcome to the forums.

People change once they are addicted to, in this particular occasion, ice, and it's other names because their behaviour makes them a different person.

Users say they have lots of energy and can think clearly, feel like they can make good decisions, and plan effectively, but after using it they can become ' anxious, hostile and aggressive.

I have never used it so I'm just providing this information via the net, probably wrong in doing so, but any addiction can cause many problems within a relationship and/or marriage.

The trouble is whether or not he wants to get help and by 'carrying on' as you say, is not going to make him stop smoking it, but a normal reaction because of the damage it does to any relationship.

There will be a daily excuse for using it but you can't mould your life around and you have to make sure you protect your finances, and sorry for saying this but it's a worry.

Best wishes.

Geoff.