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My partner is addicted to Cannibis

Ammee
Community Member

My new partner and I have been dating for seven months. The first four were wonderful and I fell more in love than I ever have before. He had given up gunja a week before we started dating but three months ago he fell off the wagon and one month ago it got so bad he was smoking non stop and binge eating and all his hygiene went out the window. This is a man who is usually very hygiene conscious and he is a PT for a living! So it was a huge shock for me seeing him go through this. I have tried to talk to him about the problem but he just gets angry with me when I bring it up . I don’t know what to do! He is a beautiful person when off the gunja but while he’s smoking it he totally changes - it’s like I’m not important anymore. It takes priority and he is difficult to talk to or do anything much.  I am struggling cause I am so in love and don’t want to let this one go.. he and I both have mental health issues and the gunja is like self medication for him. He does not want to talk to a therapist either.. and he doesn’t seem to understand or want to understand the impact the smoking is having on our relationship. Any advice on how to approach this situation would be much appreciated.

2 Replies 2

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Ammee, an addiction can come in any form and in this situation it's with your partner who smokes weed but unfortunately changes his personality when he's affected once under the influence of this.

To him he is not doing anything wrong, but what he does't realise is that he becomes a different person.

To give up when you first met can be normal and is what can normally happen when two people meet, so he can survive without it as your relationship develops, but unfortunately old habits continue once you begin to know each other and with some people it changes them, unbeknown to them.

I can't say what should happen, especially when you love him, but if he was happy smoking it then you could love two people, at the moment you it's two different people, one which you don't like and this makes it difficult for you.

Perhps when he does smoke you could mention to him that you don't like how he changes when he smokes and spend the night with a girlfriend.

If you keep doing this then he might wake up and realise.

Geoff.

Life Member. 

Ammee
Community Member

Thank you Geoff

I managed to have a good conversation with him while he was sober and he seems to understand my point of view. It hasn’t stopped him smoking it but he made a concerted effort last night not to have much while I’m around. I am not sure how this one will pan out. All I know is I am hoping he doesn’t smoke it enough for me to see the side of him I live so much at least 50 percent of the time . He obviously loves me a lot, that has become very clear this week, so hopefully he will maintain the good sense to keep up with the sober at least 50 percent of the time. We’ll see.