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My partner cheated on a perfect relationship
My partner and I have been together for nearly 9 months. A couple of weeks ago my best friend had told me that a mutual friend of ours had been receiving
Anyways after many tears and
Hi there Anonymous2109,
i made a post on here only two days ago about how I cheated on my wife of 17 years and seeing you write what you did I feel I need to help you. Being present in each other’s company is very important, our phones take us away from our life too easily. Make sure you sit with each other , hold hands, talk talk talk. I started to drift away from my relationship, I sought comfort online in strangers when everything I ever wanted was my wife’s attention. I see a psychologist now and it may pay for your partner to speak to one as there may be some underlying issues that have caused this situation. Being open and honest with each other is super important. My relationship with my wife is now so much stronger than it has been in a long time thanks to her forgiveness and to us opening up and actually talking. I wish you all the best in getting things back on track
Welcome here, I'm glad you came and had the courage to set things out, even though very personal, and see the views of others. I think your partner is lucky to have someone like you who is prepared to look at things and try and repair the situation.
It is devastating to find the one you felt solid, reliable and permanent is not what you thought. One does not know whatto think, or what to do, one can even doubt oneself.
I guess reading your posts two things stand out for me, the first is that your partner said he was "seeking acceptance", which may in fact be true.
The second was you saying "I notice that he is a chameleon, changing himself to please others" which seems to me is pretty much the same thing.
I doubt there would be much you could do to improve matters, it sounds as if you are already giving love and attention, which is the real core of a partnership. True phones can tend to take over, but you have that in hand.
May I suggest it is your partner that should seek help in the matter? Perhaps he has anxiety or some similar illness, and the way to find out is to go see a doctor, and in a long appointment set out truthfully what has been happening and why he thinks it happens, how he feels.
An excessive desire to please others is not uncommon, and he may find life easier and less worrisome if he can obtain help.
Do you think this is on the right track? and if so can you persuade him to seek help?