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my parents make me feel like a burden
So, I am struggling for words at the moment, frankly I am struggling to get my brain to function haha.
The past few weeks have been a real struggle for me and in particular the past few days. i don't have any diagnosed mental health conditions but it's obvious that there is something else going on in my head. I don't talk to my parents about it because I feel so uncomfortable talking to them and honestly it should be my choice who I talk to.
Yesterday it got kind of bad and i got out of bed, had a shower, had some breakfast, tried to do some school work and couldn't. My brain couldn't form sentences and I couldn't stop thinking about how much pain I was in (mentally). So i decided the best thing to do was chill for a day and go back to bed, maybe catch up on some sleep and just collect myself.
It was feeling really good until my dad came home. He got so pissed off that I had stayed in bed all day. He said to me "If you continue to spend days in bed you're just going to become depressed and your boyfriend isn't going to love you anymore. You don't want that do you?" That made me pretty pissed because it had actually made me feel better and he has NO IDEA what is going.
He continued to get angry at me and I didn't say anything the whole time, just "mmhmm", 'yep", "i don't know". I figured that was better than getting angry at him back. He then took my school computer and phone because he thought that would make me tell him everything. I didn't of course.
Then my mum came in and started hammering me and also said the statement "You know this isn't normal?" (which is so lovely to hear from your own mother). She tried to get me to tell her everything and I said (repeatedly) "I don't want to talk about it" and don't you think that is a pretty clear statement? Obviously not because this morning she came and sat on the couch and said "spill" and I said "what?" and she just kept saying just tell me and stuff like that. Then she said "there are going to be changes in the family if you don't open up" this makes me think they're going to send me to some hospital or something. Dad did mention the other day "what? do you want me to call a hospital right now and they can take you away?".
So, it is obvious they are just trying to get rid of me so someone else can fix me.
Just want to mention I am safe and okay.
I am talking to the school Councillor about my problems but I just need some advice on what to tell my parents so they stop this.
Thanks, Holly 🙂
My mum told me that I am the reason her and my dad are fighting all the time. And that is not just me hearing it wrong. She told me that it was my fault.
She also said it was unfair. like oh sorry I didn't realise me being sad and anxious all the time is unfair towards YOU?!
I get you and understand your disapproval of your parents methods.
“Methods” is the word because had they sat down in a caring manner and asked you some questions you might not be writing in here today.
The one thing missing here is your age so I’ll guess you are around 17yo. One of the problems parents face that they are unaware of is adjusting to their child’s age. They likely addressed you that way when you were 10yo and haven’t changed. You are close to or are an adult now and so you are indeed justified in your stubborn response in not revealing anything.
Their use of emotional blackmail is unacceptable regardless that it is a reflection of their desperation in “fixing” what they see as a problem.
What they don’t likely realise is that teenagers have things like growth spurts that cause tiredness in a big way. You can also be excused for being less motivated with this lockdown situation.
My only suggestion is if it doesn’t remedy itself that you start a long term plan in moving out. Sounds drastic but ... well it can remain so.
Thank you! This was really really helpful. I guess I kinda just gotta go with whatever happens but it just hurts to be so harshly judged by my own parents. UGHH
thank you 🙂