My first post

[Lalalalola]

Hi, this is my first post. I’ve been struggling really bad the last few weeks, more so than usual, I’ve found myself coming on to this website frequently trying to get up the courage to speak to someone but kept logging off as the wait was too long.

but if background, I’ve been with my partner for 12.5 years and we have 2 kids together our youngest is 4, and he has adhd and is autistic. Our eldest is 9 and I suspect she has adhd but getting a diagnosis hasn’t been easy. Unlike my son who was diagnosed easily. My partner has depression, anxiety, ptsd from his childhood and the doctor suspects he is also bipolar.
I suffer from depression and anxiety, so we are a super fun household!!

[Lalalalola]

I am a stay at home mum, and my partner works away, and is only really home on weekends. But when his mental health isn’t good, we all cop it, he gets distant, he won’t communicate, he doesn’t seem to care about anyone other than himself. When he isn’t doing food mentally, is the only time we seem to fight. He went away for 5 weeks (I agreed to him being gone 5 days but somehow turned into 5 weeks) to get on the right medication to help, and in that time he didn’t call the kids or me once, and he got angry at me for being upset with that. After a while he was feeling better on his medication, and things were good. But the last few weeks he has said he doesn’t feel they are working anymore, and he has gone back to being a not very nice, and distant person. I told him to go back to the doctors but he won’t.
I am sick and tired of being miserable all the time, and him making me feel everything is my fault, and I hate the way he just ignores me and the kids, like I struggle with mental health but I don’t use it as an excuse to treat those around me like crap.

I just feel so unappreciated and unloved and have no support. I am home all week looking after our kids and he doesn’t show any appreciation when he gets home, doesn’t act like he has missed us.

I have no other support in my life either, I have no real friends or family. I am just so isolated and overwhelmed and lately I’ve just felt at a loss as to how I can keep going. Both my kids are beyond a handful, my daughter has started stealing constantly, and being sneaky, and having meltdowns (well she always did those things but it’s now gotten worse) I just feel totally overwhelmed and alone and don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t handle feeling this way anymore.I’m at breaking point.

[geoff]

Hello Lalalalola, and a warm welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry that you are being criticised by your family as well as your MIL because every parent copes with their own children differently and not the same as another parent, and should not be compared to them as everyone is in another situation and not like what you are.

In Victoria you can contact Victoria's maternal and child health (MCH) service who can support your family with parenting help and by monitoring the health and development of your baby, however, this doesn't sort out the rest of your problems you are having.

For your husband wanting to stay away for 2 weeks when your son wasn't feeling well wouldn't normally happen as they would be most concerned and doesn't show the respect you and your son want and only looking after himself.

Whether or not your husband is suffering from any type of depreesion needs to be diagnosed by a doctor because the longer he puts this off, the possibility of it getting worse is possible and needs the attention required and not what his mother believes.

I'm not forgetting about you because it would be wise for you to also get the help that's required and some therapist's do have children play pens that can occupy the children, unless there is someone who can look after them.

The friends we once had have a tendency to disappear when we do have problems that linger on because they don't know what to say or don't understand what it all means and your MIL has no right to judge you.

Best wishes.

Geoff. x