Hey there
I like everything Geoff has advised!
I just wanted to add, that, you've got insight. And once you've got that, you're half way there.
Many people in depression can't see or acknowledge how their actions may be affecting relationships with others. But you can, so there's always a way forward.
Part of being in a relationship is recognising that life isn't always going to be easy, there's going to be ups and downs. And making a commitment to your partner involves acknowledging that is the case and you'll support each other through it.
Depression is an illness like any other, that needs support and understanding. If your partner were to be diagnosed with cancer, and need surgeries, chemotherapy for a year or longer, would you turn your back on him, because you're in your 20s and should be having fun? If you were in a series car accident and need rehabilitation to walk again, would your partner support you or walk away?
These examples may seem drastic, but physical or mental, and regardless of our age, life throws curve balls all the time, and the strongest relationships will survive them. If anything, this may be a test!
I think admitting that you've been rough to your partner is the first step and apologising for it will go a long way.
Letting your partner know that you're going to do something proactively about it, should give him reassurance that this too will pass. It's a phase that you'll both get through.
Speak with the GP and get a plan in place and then communicate this plan to him. Keep him involved in the process.
BB has great resources as doea the black dog institute. Get him to take a look at these, to get a little understanding of some practical ways he can support you.
Bottom line is, you aren't going to lose him because you're unwell, and if he were to walk away then he wasn't worth it anyway. You deserve better!
Best wishes x
