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My daughter thinks I try to control her and tries to avoid me

Gaga
Community Member
I have the most beautiful and intelligent daughter. We have poured all our love and done everything she has ever asked for. Recently, her behaviour towards us has become very rude. She will talk nicely when she need something otherwise try to stay away from us. I try talking to her few times and she said you try to control me. SO I asked her give me example as to how? She said you said I cannot drink, I said, I know you drink and I have only expressed my feelings and as a mother I have the right to say, but have never come and taken a drink away from you. Then she said you do not trust me. I asked her for examples and she didnt have any. She goes everywhere she wants to and doesnt even need to tell us. I am lossing my metal health and all day keep thinking about her. I really need some guidance as to how to improve this relationship.
1 Reply 1

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Gaga, welcome to the site.
As a parent myself I know that as our kids grow up we keep telling them what is good and what not to do, but do they pay attention to us, probably only half the time when it suits them, and yes they're always nice when they want something, I think that goes without even mentioning it.
What you mustn't forget is that how you have brought them up will stay with them forever, it may not be shown at the moment, but trust me as soon as they move out of home it will stay with them.
Maybe I can give you an analogy, remember when the sign said 'wet paint do not touch' what did we do touch it to see if it was still wet, so if you tell her don't drink then she's going to, she will still love you and when there are times she will want to talk with you before making a decision.
Maybe a trip to your doctor may help you, and if you feel as though a few sessions with a psychologist could also help.
In hindsight, I remember those days vividly, and now my sons come to me when they're stuck in a situation where they can't decide. Geoff.