My Dad is depressed, what should i do?

HoneyMilk · ‎10-07-2020

where do i start? This is my first forum. I have no idea what to say all the words in my head spin around crazily. Right now this very second i can hear my parents crying. That's a sound no daughter should ever hear. And yet here i am. I've always thought of my life similar to the Simpsons. My family is almost completely similar to them. I think i'm a mix of Maggie and Lisa. But unlike the Simpsons my family doesn't have a happy ending.

My dad lost his job a little bit over a month now. Ever since my life has gone upside down. I take life for granted sometimes, i unintentionally always see the bad in things. I don't know why. I am the oldest of two siblings which makes me act like an adult even though im only 15. Im scrambling through things to do. My dad means everything to me. He has been through thick through thin and hes always by side. I dont know how to put into words how much he actually means to me.
About 30 minutes ago i overheard my parents talking and well i guess you can guess my dad said that hes depressed. depression is an foreign concept to me.

What do i say? How can i act normal around him when i know this is happening?

My dad deserves the world and all he receives is depression. I dont think i could ever say the word out loud.

I just need to know what to do, what to say and how i should act. Im 15 years old and yet im expected to act like an adult. I have no idea what im going to do. help.

Aaronsis · ‎10-07-2020

Hello HoneyMilk

Welcome and we are here for you, to sit with you and to listen, to comfort you and to let you know that you are not alone. It is really hard to hear your parents crying, to know that they are so very hurt and upset. I guess we see our parents as heros in that they are super strong and that nothing goes wrong and if it does that they are made of steel and can handle it and will know what to do! Unfortunately we as parents are human too and things do get too much and we do make mistakes and we do cry and this is perfectly fine.

I am so sorry that your father has lost his job, it is a very uncertain time at the moment and many families are hurting both emotionally and financially. I am wondering if you would consider putting a call into Kids Helpline, 1800 55 1800, they are so wonderful and will be able to give you some great advice on how to manage these feelings. They also have a web chat if you feel more comfortable to type rather than chat:

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

I am sorry that you feel the weight of your parents pain and that you feel like you have to stand up and be an adult and "fix" this. Can I tell you HoneyMilk that you do not. While it is painful to hear your parents crying and in pain, this is something that they will have to address and it is actually not your battle to fight. Does that mean you should not care? Most certainly not...Does it mean you are not in pain?..no..however this is something for them to manage. What you can do is comfort them, you can hug your parents and tell them you love them. You might do some cooking or some house work to help them out, you might try to suggest some family activities that you can do together like taking a walk to get out and get some fresh air, even a board game.

If you feel like you have a whole lot of stuff building up you can start to journal and write it all down. It is for no one to see so you can be as raw and honest as you like. You may never read it again..but it is out of you and on those pages and I know it makes me feel so much better.

I hope to chat to you some more, we care about you and are here for you.

Hugs to you HoneyMilk

Sarah

P0L0 · ‎10-07-2020

Hello HoneyMilk,

I just wanted to say that you are very thoughtful and strong to reach out to the forums here to ask for help; it shows that you really love your father.

I just wanted to reiterate was Aaronsis put very well - to just show that you love your father. Sometimes, depression can make us feel as if we are alone in this world, but if you tell him you love him, that will show him that he is not alone.

As Aaronsis stated, it is your parents' battle to fight, and if feel as if you cannot take the emotional pressure of it, you should not have to burden yourself with it. However, if you feel comfortable and you think your father is comfortable, you could try to talk to him about it if you feel like it. Our parents sometimes feel as if they have the weight of the world on their shoulders, and just by telling him that you are there for him if he needs it, will mean the world to him.

Hope this helps!