Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

My children are all grown and gone

Community Member

Hi - I am new to this.  I have probably suffered from depression for most of my life but am only starting to realise it.  I'm not coping very well at the moment and have started new medication which is messing with my head.  My children are all grown and gone, all sons with three married and the youngest still single.  I have gained a daughter-in-law and lost two sons through their marriages.  I wonder what the point of it all was - having children - when you pour your life out for them and then they leave with hardly a backward glance.  Thirty years of my life and now I have to find other things to do.  My grandchildren are too far away and so involved in their other families that we don't see them much, unless we make the effort.  Hardly seems fair.  I'm tired of always being the one to make the effort.

I'm wondering if I have divulged too much but would welcome some support from others who know what it's like.

Regards Mary Jane 

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hello Mary Jane,

Welcome to the beyondblue forums. I am not sure how many members regularly visit this welcome and orientation forum. There is a thread pinned at the top which is for members to introduce themselves. You could try posting there to reach more members with one post.

Other than that you could try starting a thread in the "Women" or "Older People". If you want to talk about feeling deserted by your family it would help to put something like that in the title of your post as your topic.

My family is spread out a lot as well and my mother does not see much of me and I do not see much of my son. A consequence of being in a mobile society I think and not unusual. Although some families seem more mobile than others.






Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear Mary Jane, thanks for joining this forum, and your comment is not a happy one, and I'm not too sure whether I can be too helpful, but this doesn't take away how much I feel for you, as I have two sons, one who is married and has two little girls aged 3 years and almost one year, and they too live a couple of hours away, whilst my youngest son lives about 8 or 9 hours away.

I wish so much that I could be much closer to them, but then I wouldn't want to be living next door to them, but I love them all, but it's a scary business having children, because we are never sure what they will or could get themselves involved in, as these days there is so much temptation into trying something new.

We used to do this but the temptations were not as plentiful as they are these days, sure we used to smoke behind the shed or have a drink from the left-overs at our parents parties, but then as each generation comes along there is something new for kids to try.

I haven't probably helped you one bit, but what I trying to do is to start a conversation with you, so that other people can get involved in as well. L Geoff. x