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Mum with mental illness

Community Member
My mum has series mental problems that she won't agree too. She has once been in mental hospital & they told her she had bio polar, anxiety, depression. She is loosing the plot she blames & threatens my family, she lost her license & recently drank drove & crashed her car. She has trashed our home she won't leave us alone: I need to get her help but the cops think she is fine but she isn't ! I have video footage of what she says to us. What can I do she needs to go back to a mental hospital but she won't admit herself
2 Replies 2

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear 101~

Welcome here to the Forum, I'm very sorry to hear of your situation, it sounds horrible, upsetting and frustrating.

It looks from what you say there really are two problems, your mother getting appropriate treatment, and the other being trying to stop her from intruding on you and your family.

I'm assuming from your words that you and your mother live at different places. If I've made a mistake there please sing out.

Does you mother live with anyone? Or is there anyone in her life she might take notice of and perhaps be persuaded to leave you alone and maybe even get treatment?

Under normal circumstances for anyone to receive effective treatment they have to make the moves and get it themselves, and want it to work. If your mother does not accept this there is very little you can do. I'm not familiar with practical matters however I'd imagine for treatment to be administered without her consent in a hospital or elsewhere would be a matter for medical professionals and, depending on the circumstances, the police.

A good starting point in any event might be talking to your own GP for advice.

As far as getting her to leave you all alone, this too is a difficult matter and I guess you can go down the path of a restraint order (name varies in different states). Again I'd suggest getting advice. Most states have an government advisory bureau dealing with the obtaining and implications of orders. As you have already had some dealings with the police it may be that they can give advice too.

All this is highly worrying and stressful for you. Do you have to face it all alone or do you have people with you to support you - maybe a partner or your own family? Such support is gold at times like this.

OK, I've said a little based on what you have said so far, I'd really like it if you came back and said what you thought.


white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi 101, welcome

I echo Criox on this. I've also had 54 years of my life the same as yours. Im 61yo

My mother has left a train wreck everywhere she has been, is in total denial yet has had 3 childten all suffering depression bipolar and anxiety...why? Well it wouldnt be her fault would it!!

Just some examples...one week before my first wedding in 1985 she ruined it by temper tantrums. In all my life she turned my dad against me and family members. She put a wedge between me and my sister. My brother took his life. In 2010 it came to a climax and my sister and I disowned her. In 2011 when about to get married I heard from my daughter that my mother planned to upset my wedding to be held in a park 4 hours dtive from her place. I drew the line.

I applied for a restraining order to guarantee she wouldnt attend. We had a great wedding.

Since then my sister and I have lost many members of our family, people that she has also treated poorly over the years but her charm and seeking of sympathy is convincing. ..a master manipulator.

So what is wrong with her?. Well who would know without a correct diagnosis! And she is in denial.


Topic: is there room for stubborness- beyondblue

Topic: does stubborness have a place- beyondblue

I am not a doctor but a friend suggested I google

Queen witch waif hermit

extracts of a book called "walking on eggshells" by Dr Christine Lawson

I found it was spot on. Borderline Personality Disorder fitted the most accurately. No offence to sufferers that are seeking treatment of this difficult illness as with treatment and insight its a different story. One tenth of the population could have it! And chronic cases are a handful. Patients usually only seek yreatment for a few weeks then reject it.

The bottom line is to place a barrier between you and her to protect you and your family is something to consider.

It a giant step that only you can decide .

Tony WK