I have suffered multiple losses over the past 5 years, grief
seems to be ever present. Part of my problem is that I don’t have anyone to
talk to who is in a similar situation.
My daughter moved interstate 5 years ago, it is unlikely she
will return. I miss her and struggle with the distance I have to travel to
visit and the lack of spontaneity that is now part of our relationship. My
close friend and confidant died 4 years ago, she was my ‘go to’ person, I could
talk to her about anything, she was very pragmatic. My mother died 3 years ago,
we were very close, I miss her daily.
My son also moved interstate 18 months ago. He was unable to
find work and thought there would be more opportunities interstate. He didn’t
want to leave and has only found part time work thus far but seems quite
settled.
My distress mainly stems from the fact that my children have
moved away. I had no issues with them leaving home but I never imagined that
both of them would move so far away. I am sad that I will no longer have the
sort of family life I envisaged.
I raised them alone for 11 years. I have re-partnered to a
lovely man who was a great step-father. He is not interested in moving
interstate and I sometimes feel I am going to have to make a choice between him
and the kind of family life I would like to have with my children. I feel quite
broken hearted that I won’t be able to be an actively involved grandparent.
I have tried to create a new life for myself and have taken
up new interests, but that is part of the problem. Because of my age and peer
group, my friends and acquaintances have children and grandchildren living
nearby, I don’t know anyone in the same situation as me. Thus, the situation
that makes my most unhappy is constantly being thrown in my face. Wherever I go
I’m listening to people talk about their lives with their children and
grandchildren and this only serves to emphasise what is missing in my own life.
I am finding it very difficult to find a way out of my grief
and depression when I am surrounded by people who have the kind of life I thought
I was going to have. Nevertheless I persevere because I don’t believe staying
at home and isolating myself is a constructive way to deal with my situation. I sincerely wish I could meet some other parents in a similar situation
to me, it would be a welcome relief to converse with someone who understands
the way I feel. I have tried to find a support group but have been unsuccessful
thus far.
